PRICE TWENTY-FIVE CENTS 




Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 



COMEDY DRAMA IX FOUR ACTS 



BY 



Howard P. Taylor 






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Fitzgerald Publishing Corporation 

SUCCESSOR TO 
DICK & FITZGERALD 






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'A<^OMMODORE, THE. 25 cents. A comedy Jn 3 acts, hy Erasto$ 
Osgood. 6 males, 4 females. 2 interiors. Time, 2 hours, A very novel plot, worked 
out in an original manner involving the transfer of a large block of mining steck in 
which transaction the commodore assumes the role of a protecting genius. The dia- 
logue is particularly bright, flows naturally and leads up to an unexpected climax, the 
suspense being sustained until final curtain. Amateur performances free. Professional 
acting rights upon application. 

•MORE MONEY THAN BRAINS. 2S cents, a comedy in 2 acts, 
by Percival P. Hall. 7 male, 2 female characters, i interior. Time, about 50 
minutes. Pierre^ a struggling artist, short in money but "long" in debts is induced 
by his friend Harry to have his wealthy but "close" uncle informed of his suddMi 
death ; Harry hoping by this ruse to extract some funds from uncle. The funds were 
found but not where Harry expected. Introduces a typical street urchin; an Irish 
boarding-house landlady, a second hand clothier of the Hebrew type, etc. 

-^POOR DEAR UNCLE JAMES. 25 cents. a farce-comedy in 3 
acts, by Beulah King. 3 male, 6 female characters, i interior. Time, i^ hours. 
An exceedingly bright and breezy comedy showing what influence passed-away Poor 
Dear Uncle James had upon the marital fortunes of Frances and Brice. Introduces, 
among others, a girl of 15 and a youngster of 12, The dialogue is very bright and the 
action continuous. Highly recommended. 

» *BAD BEGINNING, A. 25 cents, a comedy in i act, by Ernest 
Grant White. 4 male, 2 female characters. i interior. Time, i hour. Stephtn, 
a Nevada ranchman, comes to New York expecting to marry a society girl, but is 
*'turned down cold." While preparing to return West immediately, his suite is entered 
by, Ann; he assumes her to be a thief and engages her in conversation while deciding 
what disposition to make of her, and becoming interested loses his heart on the re- 
bound. How it results shows that frequently at least "A Bad Beginning makes a good 
ending." A particularly effective sketch, and not "over the heads of beginners," is 
highly recommended to amateurs of some experience. 

•^DR. UMPS. 25 cents. A farcical prescription in i dose by Erastus 
Osgood. 2 male, 2 female characters, i interior. Time, about 40 minutes. John 
has becomes fault-finding and irritable husband. In order to reform him, Marjory, 
his wife, by means of suggestion makes him believe he is near a nervous break-down. 
Under the assumed name of Dr. Umps, she calls in her school pal, Mrs. Stnall. The 
routine through which Dr. Umps ^utsjohn is screamingly funny, and is so successful 
io its results that Marjory is absolutely satisfied with her attempted reformation. 

7 PHARAOH'S KNOB, 25 cents, a comedy in I act, by Edith J. 
CRAmB. I male, 12 females. Time i hour. Lieut. Kingston, in love with Elizabeth 
/sues, is repulsed by her mother, who does not approve of penniless soldiers. The 
Lieutenant finds an iridescent knob and is seen by a credulous bell-hop, and for fun he 
tells her a fake story as to its value. This story travels rapidly among the hotel 
guests and as soon as it reaches Mrs. Jones' ears, her antipathy to the officer disap- 
pears. Eventually it becomes known that the knob belongs to an antique cabinet, but 
before this discovery is made, the Lieutenant and Elizabeth have been married; so 
Mrs. Jones has to approve. Introduces a clever girl bell-hop and hotel clerk, a fCQial* 
Sherlock Holmes and her admirer, besides other Hotel guests. 

*WHOSE WIDOW? 25 cents. A comedy in 1 act, by Helen C. Clif- 
FORD. 5 males, 4 females, i interior. ^ Plays about 5© minutes. Marcella, a young 
Western girl, arrives at her aunt's wearing a widow's gown, much to everyone s sur- 
prise ; this she did to gain more freedom. She assumes the name of Mrs. Loney and 
to her horror is soon made acquainted with persons of that name, presumably relatives 
of her alleged husband. The husband appears in the shape of an impostor and de- 
mands blackmail, but his plan is foiled, and after many comical incidents Marcella 
finds her match. The dialogue flows naturally and brightly, and the action is contin- 
uous. Recommended for schools. 

•ALICE'S BLIGHTED PROFESSION. 25 cents, a sketch in 1 

act, by Helen C. Clifford, for 6 or 8 girls, i interior. Time, about 50 minutes. 
yl/iV^, a clientless young lawyer, seeking a stenographer, has several applicants, but 
none gives satisfaction. It eventually develops that all the applicants were disguised 
school friends oi Alice' s 2ind. adopted this method to induce her to give up the pro- 
fession, which she does. Recommended for schools. 

" -AtHER victory. 25 cents. A sketch in i act, by E. M. Crane, for 
17 female characters. Scene, interior of an artist's studio appropriately furnished, 
and arranged with such properties as are readily available. The number of characters 
may be cut ; or several may double. Specialties, local hits, etc., may be introduced. 
An episode of a girl's colony in far-famed Greenwich Village of New York City, 
showing a. bit of the trials and tribulations of a hard-working class of girls. Intre- 
duces an illustrator, a "Movie Queen," a darkv mammy, .1 daughter of Eria, tttC 
Gives great scope for character portrayal. 



WIGGINS OF POP-OVER 
FARM 

A COMEDY-DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS 



By 
HOWARD P. TAYLOR 



Copyright, 1921, by 
Fitzgerald Publishimg Corporation 



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Fitzgerald Publishing Corporation 

Successor to 

Dick & Fitzgerald 

18 Yesey Street New York 






OCT 18 1921 

©C1.D 58910 



- \ 



Note. — The moving picture and professional acting 
rights of this play are expressly reserved by the pub- 
lishers, to whom scenario writers and theatrical man- 
agers who wish to produce it should apply. Amateur 
representation may be made without such application 
and without charge. 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 



CHARACTERS 

Uncle Zeb Wiggins, a farmer Character lead 

Sim Wiggins, his son Juvenile 

Tom Mason, a merchant Juvenile 

Uriah Speed, an old farmer Character 

Freddy Fitzmaurice, an English fop Character 

Officer Casey, Irish Character 

Ben Skinner, a country hoohy Character 

Jim Nelson, tramp and a detective Character 

Letter Carrier Straight Bit 

Mr. Thurston Straight Bit 

A Tramp Silent Part 

Speck, a flower girl Ingenue Lead 

Amanda Wiggins, Zeh^s sister Character 

Amy Crocker Juvenile 

Grace Sanders Straight Bit 

Note. — If necessary, Uriah can double with Mr. 
Thurston in tag end part of Act IV, Uriah being on 
in first part of act, a quick change would be necessary. 
Sim might, in first scene of Act I, slip on a Letter Car- 
rier's coat and cap, take off his moustache and assume 
that bit, as he is not on again till Act II. The Tramp 
and Freddy can also double. These doubles and 
changes are simply suggestions of the author; the stage 
manager may improve upon them. 

Time. — The Present. 

Locality. — New York City and Booneboro, Vt. 

Time of Playing. — About two hours. 

3 



4 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — A street in New York City. Speck while 
selling ''sweet ^dolets" meets Sim who has lost his 
money at the race track — gets his promise to reform. 
Also meets Freddy who thinks everything is ''funny" 
and Uncle Zeb who is in the wicked city looking for 
his son. Zeb accuses Letter Carrier of stealing his let- 
ter out of mail-box. Officer Casey comes to the rescue. 
Zeb once more interferes as Speck's Uncle Jim en- 
deavors to abstract her earnings. Offers her and her 
invalid mother a home at Pop-Over Farm; her mother 
dies and she goes alone to the farm. 

Act II. — Parlor of Tom Mason's home. Next even- 
ing. Sim calls on Tom for financial aid and there, while 
under the disguise of Mr. Livingston, meets his father 
who is making a "serciety call." Zeb meets Amy 
Crocker who is also from "up home" and relates the 
fate of all the neighbors. Old-fashioned Virginia Reel. 
Jim looking for Zeb to get revenge. 

Act hi. — Back to Pop-Over Farm. One year later. 
Jim overhears Zeb tell Mandy he drew $2,000. Return 
of the Prodigal Son. Jim threatens to take Speck back 
to the city unless she steals Zeb's money, which she re- 
fuses to do. Jim about to escape with the money when 
he is tricked by Sim while Speck snatches the money 
from Jim. 

Act IV. — Scene same as Act HI. Six months later. 
Bank has been robbed. Speck and Sim interrupted in 
their love-making. Jim appears in the role of a Boston 
detective, but Speck sees through his disguise and tricks 
him into getting his finger prints. Arrival of city folks. 
Jim accuses Sim of the robbery and handcuffs him just 
as an officer appears and arrests the real culprit. 

COSTUMES AND CHARACTERISTICS 

Uncle Zeb, a typical Vermont farmer, about 55, 
dressed in country style; wears old-fashioned brass- 
rimmed spectacles, broad-brimmed straw hat, short 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 5 

trousers and coat, red tie, etc. Act II. New suit and 
new shoes. Acts III and IV. In farmer's clothes, coat, 
straw hat, glasses, etc. 

Sim Wiggins, j^oung man of about 21, sporty in ap- 
pearance and seems light-hearted; wears moustache. 
Business suit, a little the worse for wear. Act II. 
Same suit, unkempt in appearance; later, neat coat, vest 
and a clean collar. Act III. Neat business suit. Act 
IV. • Business suit, different than that used in Act III. 

Tom Mason, young man about 23. Neat business suit. 
Act II. Evening clothes. Act IV. Traveling suit, 
carrying suit-case. 

Uriah Speed, a Vermont farmer, about 75 years. 
Speaks with half-piping voice, smooth face, very white 
hair, walks slowly and is somewhat stooped. 

Freddy Fitzmaurice, about 26, dressed as an English 
fop. Wears monocle. Appears in Acts I and II only. 

Officer Casey, a typical police officer. Wears uni- 
form. Uses Irish dialect. Appears in Acts I and IV. 

Ben Skinner. He is the size of a man, but dresses as 
a country boy — a booby. Acts III and IV only. 

Jim Nelson, Speck 's uncle, a man about 40, a typical 
tramp, dressed shabbily with short stubby beard. Act 
II. Same make-up, arm in sling. Act III. Dressed as 
a tramp. Act IV. Poses as a detective; genteely 
dressed, entirely different facial make-up. Can wear 
gold eye-glasses, light fashioned overcoat, modern hat. 

Letter Carrier, young man in postman's uniform. 
Appears in Act I only. 

Mr. Thurston, about 55, wearing Prince Albert suit. 
Appears in latter part of Act IV only. 

Tramp, wears dirty linen duster, slouch hat well over 
eyes, does no talking. Appears in Act III only. 

Speck Barton, about 16 j^ears, must be young and 
small, plainly dressed, a little shabbily, indicating pov- 
erty. Act III. Dressed very neatly, pretty house- 
dress, hair up. Act IV. Neat dress, darker than used 
in Act III. 

Amanda Wiggins, Zeb's maiden sister, about 45. 



6 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

Wears plain country dress, glasses, etc. Appears in 
Acts III and IV only. 

Amy Crocker, young girl of about 20. Stylish walk- 
ing suit. Act II. Pretty evening dress. Act IV. 
Traveling suit and carries a suit-case. 

Grace Sanders, young girl of about 21. Stylish walk- 
ing suit. Act II. Pretty evening dress. Appears in 
Acts I and II only. 

INCIDENTAL PROPERTIES 

Tray of violets and pins, large tin milking pail, a 
pitcher, tray with five glasses of cider, and a jar of 
jam wrapped in white paper for Speck. Money, suit- 
case, coat, vest, clean collar, watch and handkerchief for 
Sim. Monocle and coin for Freddy. Bills and watch 
for Tom. Spectacles, handkerchief, letter, bills, horse- 
pistol, pocketbook supposed to contain $2,000 in bills, 
and a rake for Zeb. Pistol, warrant of arrest, hand- 
cuffs for Jim. Sewing material for Mandy. Clarionette 
for Ben Skinner. Any desired game to be played by 
Amy and Grace. 

STAGE DIRECTIONS 

As seen by a performer on the stage, facing the audi- 
ence, r. means right hand; l., left hand; c, center of 
stage ; R. E., entrance at right ; l. e., entrance at left ; 
D. c, door at center; d. l., door at left of stage; D. r., 
door at right ; up, means towards back of stage ; down, 
towards footlights. 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 



ACT I 

SCENE. — Street in New York City. Entrances R. and 
L. Mail hox near l. e. Speck /learcZ off stage call- 
ing "Here you ate, sweet violets." 

ENTER Speck, r., carrying tray of violets. 

Speck. Sweet violets for old, young, lame, sick or 
rheumatic. Warranted to smell you up in two seconds, 
and sweeten sour tempers. {Walks slowly and calls 
loudly) Here you are! All fresh, sweet and just 
sprinkled. (ENTER Officer Casey, l.) Hello, Mr. 
Casey, where are all the peeps this morning? 

Officer {with brogue). Couldn't tell ye. The popu- 
lation's taken an early start for Coney, I'm thinkin'. 
(Crosses to r.) Sold any flowers yet? 

Speck. Only two little bunches. 

Officer. Well, ye '11 have better luck before night. 

[EXIT R. 

Speck. I hope so. It's pretty dull now. {Yells) 
Violets — sweet violets! 

ENTER Sim l. 

Sim. Good morning, little girl. How's business? 

Speck. Rather dull. Have a violet? Make you look 
aristocratic. Only ten cents. 

Sim {feeling in his pockets). Don't know whether 
I've got the price. Yes — there you are. {Hands 

7 



8 Wiggins of Pop- Over Farm 

money) Last button. (Speck is about to pin violet on 
his coat) No — you keep the flower. It won't go well 
with this suit. 

Speck. Oh, yes it will. {He demurs) I can't take 
your money then. (Offers it hack) 

Sim. Well, pin it on then. 

Speck. Did you say this was your last button? 

Sim. Pretty near it. 

Speck. Then you had better keep it. I'll trust you 
till you are flusher. 

Sim. Oh, I'm not altogether bankrupt, though my 
favorite pony went back on me yesterday. Pin it on. 

Speck (while doing so). Playing the races? 

Sim. Yes — and I thought I had a lead-pipe cinch, 
but I slipped up. 

Speck. How much were you out? 

Sim. a clean fifty-dollar bill. But I don't mind 
that. I '11 make it up again. 

Speck. Never on the races. 

Sim. Why not? What do you know about them?- 

Speck. Not much. Only this — that you put down 
two and pick up one, but oftener nothing. 

Sim (laughing). Why, you're right on to the game, 
aren't you? 

Speck. No — only what I hear from my customers, 
who come back broke. (Laughs) Better save your 
money, young man, or the rainy day may come upon 
you before you expect it. 

Sim. Oh, I don't mind that. I'll borrow my friends' 
umbrellas, if "it does. You've got to have sand to get 
along in this world, and the fellow that squeals always 
gets left. 

Speck. You're wrong. The man who squeals at the 
race-track is he who is a man, and not ashamed of hon- 
est toil. (Runs to l.) Violets— sweet violets! 

Sim (aside). Mighty cute girl that, and pretty near 
right. 

Speck (returning). I thought that gent was going to 
buy a flower the way he put his hand in his pocket. 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 9 

Sim. Say, you don't know of a good job floating 
round that would suit a young gent like me, do you? 
(Poses) 

Speck. I sometimes hear of such. What kind of a 
job would you like ? 

Sim. Oh, oiie where I'd only have to work between 
twelve and one o'clock and have that hour for lunch. 
(Smiles) 

Speck. You want something real hard, don't you? 
You ought to be a vacation judge or a policeman. 

Sim. Won't do. I want something with snap and 
dash to it. 

Speck. Well, you'd better go to Africa and shoot 
lions. (Laughs) 

Sim (surprised. Aside). Well, I'm blowed. 

Speck. Say, where 'd you come from, and who's your 
parents ? 

Sim. Never mind them. They're all right, but I'm 
the scapegrace of the family. 

Speck. Sorry to hear that. But there are lots of 
scapegraces that redeem themselves. Why don't you? 

Sim. The old man would kick me out. 

Speck. Not if he saw you meant to reform. Think 
it over. (Yells) Violets — sweet violets! (Walks 
towards l.) 

Sim (aside). Heap of wisdom about that little girl. 
She may be right. Notion to give the old man a chance. 
(To iter) 1 will think it over, little girl, your advice is 
of the clean-grooved order. (Goes r.) 

S?ECK. And say — (He turns) — don't play the races 
any more. 

Sim. I'll shake 'em for good. 

Speck. And make a vow to the dear ones at home 
that you will forsake such a uscIqss life. 

Sim. I'll do it. Your advice is golden, and I thank 
you for it. Good morning. See you again. [EXIT r. 

Speck. There's a lot of good in that young fellow, if 
the gamblers and toughs will let him alone. (Yells) 
Violets — sweet violets! (Goes towards l.) 



10 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

ENTER L. Tom Mason and Amy Crocker, followed hy 
Freddy Fitzmaurice and Grace Sanders. Tom 
and Amy cross to r., encountering Speck. 

Tom. Why, little Speck. {To Amy) The little 
flower girl I have told you about. {To Speck) How's 
business ? 

Speck. Poor this morning, Mr. Mason. Everybody's 
leaving town. 

Tom. Can't blame them this hot weather. Well, I'll 
be one of your early customers. 

Speck. Oh, thank you, sir. You always are. 
{Hands him flowers) 

Amy. And one for me, too. 

Speck. With pleasure, Miss. {Hands her flowers) 
And there are pins. {Hands pins) 

Freddy {in drawling tone). And don't forget us. 
{Giggles) 

Speck. Certainly not. (Runs towards l.) This 
will set you off splendidly. {Gives him flower) And 
one for your lady. {Hands flowers and pins to Grace) 

Grace. Thank you. 

Amy {to Tom). Poor child of the street. What a 
life! 

Tom. Yes, it's a sad one. 

Grace. How much do you make every day? 

Speck. Oh, sometimes a couple of dollars, but gener- 
ally about half that. 

Freddy. Just think — generally a dollar. How 
funny. {Giggles) 

Tom {handing her a hill). Well, there's a dollar, 
Speck, for your early sales. Never mind the change. 
But don 't let that lazy uncle of yours see it. 

Speck. I won't. I'll stuff it in my stocking. 
{About to do so, when the ladies exclaim **0h!" and 
turn away — the gentlemen laughing) No, I won't, 
either. I'll change my bank. {Stuffs hill down her 
neck) 

Freddy. Ain't she fumiy? {Giggles) 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 11 

Speck. Thank you, Mr. Mason. That will buy a lot 
of nice things for my poor sick mother. If uncle knew 
I had this, he would beat me until he got it to spend in 
the saloon. 

Tom. That uncle ought to be doing time. Well, be 
careful. Good morning. [EXEUNT Tom and Amy r. 

Freddy {as lie and Grace cross) . And be vewy care- 
ful of that, too. {Puts coin in her hand) 

Speck. Thank you, sir. 

Freddy {as they are about to EXIT). Ain't she 
funny? {Giggles) [EXEUNT Freddy and Grace r. 

Speck {imitates). Ain't she funny? {Giggles. 
Looks at coin) Ten cents! His mamma must have cut 
him down this morning. {Looks off k.) Hello! There's 
a gang over at the ferry. {Yells) Violets — sweet vio- 
lets! ^ [EXIT R. 

Voices {off stage l., laughter with exclamations such 
as) Get on to de coat! How's your sister's cat's kit- 
tens? How's pumpkins down your way? {All ad. lib.) 

ENTER Uncle Zeb l., hacking in. 

Zeb {talking hack at the crowd). None o' yer darned 
business, an' my sister hain't got no cat. {Crowd 
laughs outside) Say, you feller with the hare-lip, look 
out — yer crackin' yer face. {Turns and goes down) 
Never saw sech an ill-mannered set in my life. Guess 
them fellers was born in a bug factory. Wuss'n a pas- 
sel o' In j ins. {Takes off spectacles and ivipes them with 
handkerchief) Wouldn't live in New York fer all the 
skyscrapers in it. {Laughter outside — Zeb turns) 
Well, jes' laugh away if it helps yer livers any. 

Voice {off stage). Take off yjer hat and let the seed 
fall. 

Zeb {indignantly). You go to thunder! Jes' you 
step here, an' I'll make yer look like a wart in a jar o' 
alcohol in two seconds. {Laughter outside) Passel o' 
cowards. It's the fust time I've been in this tarnal 
town in twenty years — an' I wouldn't be here now if it 
wa'n't fer Mandy. She's so worried 'bout that scalla- 



12 Wiggins of Pop- Over Farm 

wag son o' mine what run away from hum five year ago 
thet she's sobbin' herself inter fourteen kinds o' hys- 
terics. Told her I would cum jest to please her. Glad 
his mother wa'n't a-livin' when he run off. It would 
hev broken her heart. {Feels in Ms pocket and takes 
out a letter) I wrote to sister Mandy terday, an' I'll 
jes' run down to the Post-Orfice an' drop it in. (Starts 
to go as Officer ENTERS r.) Say, constable, how far 
might the Post-Orfice be frum here? 

Officer. What do ye want? Post a letter? 

Zeb. Yer hit it right off. 

Officer. Well, post it in the box there. (Points l.) 

Zeb. What— in that thing? Is thet the Post-Orfice? 
It's a durii small one. 

Officer (aside). Rather green. (To Zeb.) Cer- 
tainly. All letters are mailed in them boxes. 

Zeb. Yer don't say? Why, I've seen them things 
a-stickin' all round, but I thort they were pigeon boxes. 

Officer {smiling). Just drop yer letter there, an' it 
will be all right. 

Zeb. I'll do it, b'gosh. {Drops letter in box, as Of- 
ficer EXITS L.) Thet's a big 'commerdashun. What 
won't they git up next? Reckon thet letter mus' be 
purty near down to the Post-Orfice now. 

ENTER Letter Carrier, l., unlocks box, and takes out 

mail. 

Zeb. Here — what yer doin'? Robbin' the mail, an' 
thort nobody was a-lookin', eh? {Catches Carrier by 
the arm, and throws him around) 

Carrier. Here — what do you mean ? 

Zeb. Ketched yer right in the act, didn't I? 

Carrier. Get out, you jay. 

ENTER Officer l. 

Officer. Here — what's the matter? 

Zeb. He's a-robbin' the mail. I seed him, an' he 
stuck my letter in thet terbacker pouch, 'long with a lot 
o' others. 



'Wiggins of Pop -Over Farm 13 

Officer. Where would he put them! In his shoes? 
He's the collector. 

Zeb. Well, I don't owe him nothin'. 

Officer. Don't ye see he collicts the mail from the 
boxes, an' takes thim to the post-office? 

Carrier. Aw, go back home and chew carrots. 

[EXIT L. 

Zeb. I don't raise no carrots. B'gosh, constable, 
thet's one on me. Yer see, I'm kinder strange in New 
York, an' hain't got the run o' things yet. I'll 'poler- 
gize to thet collector nex' time he cums round. 

Officer. Well, be careful, old gintleman. 

[EXIT R. laughing 

ENTER Jim Nelson l. 

Jim. Hello, my friend. Just blew in from the coun- 
try, didn't you? 

Zeb. Mebbe I did. What's it to you? 

Jim. Nothin ' — only better look out. Sharpers round 
here, just looking for such fish as you. 

Zeb. Don't fret. I kin take keer o' myself. Jest 
mussed up a feller's features agin thet box, an' I guess 
I kin do it agin. Better pass on. Yer don't look wuth 
talkin' to. 

Jim. Oh, yes I do. Say, you haven't got the price 
of a nip, have you ? 

Zeb. Yes — several on 'em — but not fer you. You 
look now as if yer couldn't git to yer front door without 
fallin' up the steps. 

Jim. You're fresh, you are, and ought to be on ice. 
See? (Gets close to him) 

Zeb. Say, jes' keep yer distance. (Moves away 
from him) Yer've got a breath that would shoo a man 
off a car-track. 

Jim. Think so? Well, you'd better keep ofP the 
track. Say, how do you pass your time in the country ? 

Zeb. Photographin ' babboons. Better cum out an' 
hev yer pictur took. 



14 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

Jim. Smart, ain't you? Say, I like you. Come and 
have a beer. 

Zeb. No soap-suds fer me. Say, yer look as inter- 
estin' as a cold cow, an' if yer don't let up on liquor, 
yer won't hev more'n a half pound of brains left by 
Christmas. 

Jim. Think so? Say, you've got a real Sunday- 
school finish to your face, and you'd better take it in. 
Somebody will bite it. 

Zeb. Well, they'll find it the real goods. 

Jim. Aw, go home and rattle your chin at the cows. 

[EXIT L. laughing 

Zeb. Thet feller looks as if he hed nothin ' else ter do 
but set round in saloons an' raise pimples. {Looks off 
R.) Hello, there cums thet little flower gal I met yes- 
terday. 

ENTER Speck r., looking troubled. 



Speck. Oh, good sir, is he gone ? 

Zeb. Who do yer mean? 

Speck. That man ! 

Zeb. Do yer mean thet feller with a Californy sunset 
under each eye? 

Speck. Yes — that is the man I told you about yester- 
day. {Looks off L.) 

Zeb. Don't say. Yer uncle? 

Speck. Yes, sir— a wicked, cruel man. 

Zeb. The feller what treats you an' yer mother so 
bad? 

Speck. Yes, sir. 

Zeb. B'gosh! I wish I'd know'd it. I'd knocked 
him as flat as a fried egg. 

Speck. He watches me every day, and if he sees me 
taking money for my flowers, he makes me give it to him 
for liquor, and I have little to take home for mother. 

Zeb. The darned cuss. Where do yer live? 

Speck. We have a room in Hudson street, but it is 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 15 

only a hovel. You see, ever since father's death uncle 
has run things to suit himself. He won't work, but 
steals whatever he can get his hands on, and mother, 
when she was able, worked in other people's houses to 
support us; but she fell sick, and the burden is all on 
me now. 

Zeb. How long hev yer been sellin' flowers? 

Speck. Ever since father died. I was young then, 
and the good people bought liberally — I suppose, be- 
cause I was so little. 

Zeb. How old are you now? 

Speck. Nearly sixteen. 

Zeb. Yer don't look it, though yer seem ter know a 
lot. Go to school? 

Speck. Sometimes to night school, when mother can 
spare me, and every Sunday I go to both church and 
Sunday school. 

Zeb. Well, yer a good little girl fer that, an' yer 
seem ter be purty well eddicated. 

Speck. I try so hard to learn ; but it 's difficult, when 
one has to tramp the streets all day. 

Zeb. Well, yer won't hev to do it much longer if I 
kin help it. 

Speck. What do you mean, sir? 

Zeb. Jes' this. How would yer like ter git out of 
this wicked city, an' go home with me? 

Speck. Oh, ever so much, sir, for you seem so good 
and kind. But mother — I couldn 't leave her. 

Zeb. Gosh ding it — we'll take her too. 

Speck. Ah, that is impossible. She may never rise 
from her bed again. 

Zeb. Great ginger! So bad as that? Say, little 
one, I want you to take me to see yer mother. 

Speck (joyfully). Will you go, sir? 

Zeb. Well, I will ; an' if things is as yer say, 'twon't 
be long afore yer jine my family. Yer see, I've got a 
big farm, an' Mandy — that's my old maid sister — needs 
some one to help her in the house. 

Speck. Oh, I can do all kinds of housework. 



16 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

Zeb. I 'm glad ter know it — an ' yer kin go ter school, 
too, if yer want to. 

Speck. Won't that be nice? 

ENTER Jim l. Hides heliind letter-hox. 

Zeb. An' here {Taking a hill from Ms pockethook) 
here's five dollars. (Hands money) Go buy some 
proper food fer yer ma. 

Speck {overcome). How can I thank yon, sir? {Al- 
most faints) 

Zeb. Here, little gal, don't keel over right here in 
the street. {Holds her up) Jes' brace up, an' meet 
me here to-night, an' I'll go 'long with yer to see how 
the kitten jumps. 

Speck. I'll be here, sir. {About to go) 

Jim (going down). Come back here. Speck. 

Speck. Ah! {Shrinks from him in fright) 

Jim. Where's the money that old jay gave j^ou? I 
want it. 

Zeb {stepping between them). Well, yev won't get 
it, durn yer. {Holds his hand behind him, iviggles his 
fingers, and Speck, understanding, quickly places bill 
in his hand) 

Jim. She's my niece, and she's got to account to me 
for what she earns. 

Zeb. Well, yer '11 hev to excuse her this time. 

Jim. Give me that money, or I'll {Raises his 

arm to strike her, when Zeb catches it) 

Zeb. Jes' keep yer paw ofP'n thet kid, or I'll make 
yer look like a giblet pie in two seconds. Eun home, 
little gal. [EXIT Speck r. running quickly 

Jim. Oh, you will, will you? {Makes a rush for. Zeb, 
when Zeb quickly puUs a large horse pistol from his hip 
pocket, and points at him. Jim shrinks) Ah ha! 
Carrying concealed weapons, eh? That's against the 
law! 

Zeb. Law er no law, yer don't trouble thet gal while 
I'm around. 



Wiggins of Pop- Over Farm 17 

ENTER Officer r. 

Officer. Here ! here ! What 's the row .° 

Jim. He's carrying concealed weapons, and tried to 
murder me. 

Officer. Well, he ought to be hung for not com- 
pletin' the job. Now, move on, Jim Nelson, or I'll run 
you in. YeVe given the force enough trouble lately. 
Now git! (Jim sneaks out l., shaking his fist at Zeb) 

Zeb {laughing). Say, constable, he sneaked off like 
a skeered skunk, didn't he? 

Officer. He's a howly terror. Say, old gintleman, 
don't ye know it's aginst the law to carry concealed 
weapons ? 

Zeb. Sartin — sure. 

Officer. Well, let me have it, an' come along with 
me. Ye '11 have to answer to the judge. 

Zeb. What's he goin' to ask me? 

Officer. Ye '11 find out. Give me the pistol. 

Zeb {handing pistol). There she is, constable. 

Officer {examines it, and hursts out laughing). 
Where d'ye get it — from the Ark? 

Zeb. Purty near it. My gran 'father fit in the revo- 
lushun with it. Hain't been a charge in it fer eighty 
years. {Laughs) 

Officer. Eighty years? Faith, it looks it. {Laughs 
and hands it hack) But don't expose it on the street. 
It might get ye into trouble. 

Zeb. I only wear it to keep the city skeeters off, an' 
skeer fresh ducks like thet one. Bay, yer'd hev busted 
wide open ter see thet cuss tryin' ter dodge it. {Laughs) 

Officer {s^niling). Well, just kape it out of sight, 
an' be careful of yoursilf, or your bed may wake up 
widout ye in the mornin '. 

Zeb. Don't worry 'bout me, constable. I got no 
kinks in my instep. (EXIT Officer laughing) I feel 
jes' brave enough to rush into a flock o' cows, an' could 
lick a dozen o' them fellers. Where be they? Fetch 
'em along! {Squares off at an imaginary opponent) 



18 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

ENTER. Tom and Freddy r., hoth laughing at Zeb. 

Freddy. What a queer man. 

Tom. What's up, Uncle Zeb? 

Zeb. Jes' showin' these city bums a thing or two. 

Tom. Who's been ruffling you? 

Zeb. a durned skunk what tried ter git the money I 
gave the little flower girl. But I made him feel like a 
cold storage ham afore I got through with him. 

Tom (laughing). I'll warrant you did. 

Freddy. How funny. (Giggles) 

Zeb. 'Twa'n't a bit funny. Say, Tom, yer heven't 
seen nothin' of Sim lately, hev yer? 

Tom. No — ^not for some weeks, Uncle Zeb. I couldn 't 
tell you where to look for him. 

Zeb. Well, I've been trampin' 'round this town till 
I'm tuckered out. Thort I saw him onc't, but my 
glasses wa'n't on right. Do yer know Mandy's jes' 
crazy 'bout him? 

Tom. No doubt she is. But Sim's twenty-one, and 
he'll take care of himself. 

Zeb (shaking his head). Don't know 'bout thet. He 
was allers so unsettled at hum, an' kinder wild, yer 
know. 

Tom. I know that, and he wanted to see the world. 
You mustn't blame him. He'll turn up all right. But 
come — don't you want to see some of the sights of the 
city? 

Zeb. Hev seen a lot o' them already. An' there 
wa'n't nuthin' the matter with their health, nuther. 

Tom (laughing). Well, some entertainments, such 
as Coney Island, the roof gardens, theaters, and so 
forth. 

Zeb. Well, I'll go yer one on so forth, but yer know 
I don't go to theaters — an' yer old dad didn't nuther. 

Freddy. How funny. (Giggles) 

Tom. Well, how would you like to call at my house 
to-morrow evening, and see the ladies ? 

Zeb. Fust-rate. Ladies is my forte. It takes me to 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 19 

sling high-priced words at ladies with fee-ong-say 
(fiance) ideas. 

Tom (laugJiing). I know it does, Uncle Zeb. 

Freddy. Ain't he real funny? {Giggles) 

Tom. Well, I shall expect you. I want you to feel at 
home while you are in the city, and in my charge. 
(Smiles) 

Zeb. Much oblidged. Yer jes' like yer old dad — 
wantin' to make things pleasant fer everybody. 

Tom. Yes, dad was a good old soul. But just now, 
we'll go over to the Astor, and have a bit of lunch. 

Zeb. Now yer talkin'. I'm jes' dyin' ter rub a 
squash pie agin my appetite. 

Tom. Come along, then. 

Freddy. How funny. {Giggles) 

[All exeunt l. or r. 

CURTAIN 



ACT II 

SCENE. — Parlor finely furnished in Tom Mason's 
home. Next evening. Settings at discretion of 
stage manager. Lounges, easy chairs, etc., in vari- 
ous places. S7nall tables both sides of stage, books 
on tables, pictures on walls. Center stage clear. 
Handsome settee down l. set diagonally. {This 
kind of setting where it can be had, otherwise an 
ordinary parlor setting.) Boor or large opening 
with portieres up c. Doors at r. and l. // desired. 
D. R. can be an opening with a few palms or other 
plants showing inside. Lights up. DISCOV- 
ERED Amy and Grace sitting at table playing 
any desired game. 

Amy. That's enough, Grace. I'm tired of playing. 
{Rises) 



20 Wiggins of Pop- Over Farm 

Grace. Why, it's early yet, and the gentlemen will 
not be here for half an hour. 

Amy. Well, let's pass the time some other way. 

Grace. Oh, very well. (Rises) 

Amy. I wish Tom would come. 

Grace. Still yearning ! Oh, this love — this love. 
(Laughs) Glad I am still heart free. 

Amy. Well, your time will come. How about 
F weddy ? ( Laughs ) 

Grace. Not on your tin-type, as slang has it. I 
want a man — not a monkey. 

Amy. Don't let him hear you say that. He might 
giggle. Come — let's go on tlie back piazza and enjoy 
the moonlight for awhile. [EXEUNT both d. r. 

ENTER Tom c, looks about, goes down. 

Tom. HellO' — the ladies not here. Out on the piazza, 
I guess. (Looks at ivatch) Near time the old gentle- 
man was here. Wonder how he will enjoy ''serciety?" 
(Laughs) He'll get along, I guess, if his innocent as- 
surance is in working order. (Sim ENTERS c. Tom 
turning c. sees him) Hello, Sim, what are you doing 
here ? 

Sim (going down). I'm in a hole, Tohi, and want 
you to help me out. (Pulls out both pockets) Not a 
cent. 

Tom. I've helped you before, Sim, and you do not 
seem to improve. Suppose the old folks were to see you 
in this state? Why don't you go to work, and stick to 
it? You're a good accountant, and a valuable man in 
any mercantile house. 

Sim. Oh, it's all very well for you to lecture. When 
you left home you had relatives here to put you into 
business. I didn't, and had to shift for myself. 

Tom. You've had chances, but you prefer the idle 
and wayward life. I worked — that's just the differ- 
ence. So you are again in distress? 

Sim. You struck it — and you know nothing succeeds 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 21 

like distress. {Smiles) I've tried to get away from 
this life, Tom, but something always pulled me back. 
Just try me again in your store, and I promise to re- 
form, and as soon as I redeem myself, I '11 go back to the 
old folks, and settle down on the farm. 

Tom. You have promised that before. 

Sim. But I swear it now, Tom. 

Tom. You do? 

Sim. Yes — honest. Remember, you and I were kids 
together, and I've helped you over some rough edges, 
and never taunted you about it. I know I've been a 
high stepper, and worried the old folks no little. 

Tom. You certainly have. 

Sim. And father, I'm afraid, will never forgive me. 

Tom {kmdhj). But he will if you do right. Now, 
brace up, old chap, leave your evil associates, don't 
play the races, go to work, and I '11 help you all I can. 

Sim. You will? I'll do it, Tom, and return home 
with as clean a record as I can make by a year 's amend- 
ment. 

Tom. That's the way to talk it, my boy. (SJiakes 
his hand) Be as good as your word. But you won't 
have to wait a year before seeing the old gentleman. 

Sim {in surprise). Why, how's that? 

Tom. Because he will be in this house to-night. 

Sim. What are you giving me? 

Tom. Fact. He's been in the city for over a week. 

Sim. In the city? In Heaven's name, what for? 

Tom. To find you! You see, the old gent has an 
idea that you are traveling the pace, and are afraid to 
return home. He has searched all over New York, and 
I have looked out for him during his stay. 

Sim. Thanks, old boy. 

Tom. Why have you never written home ? 

Sim. It was shame, Tom, and partly pride. Many 
times it was on the point of my pen to do so, but some- 
thing told me my letters would be unwelcome. And 
you say he will be here to-night ? 

Tom. He will be. 



22 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

Sim. He will? {Pause) Say, Tom, I must see him, 
but he must not know me — not yet — not yet. 

Tom. You are right. I wouldn't want him to. I 
can introduce you as my guest — as Mr. Livingston, for 
instance. 

Sim. What! In these rags? 

Tom. Your trousers look all right. Here, step into 
my room, and slip on one of my coats and vest, and a 
clean collar. (Goes to d. l.) 

Sim. But my face? 

Tom. Wash it. 

Sim. He would know me anyhow. 

Tom. Don't think so. He hasn't seen you for five 
years, and you look ten years older. You've got a 
moustache now, you know. But go in, and get down to 
business. He's liable to drop in. 

Sim. Thanks, Tom. I'll not forget your kindness. 

[EXIT D. L. 

Tom. Never mind that. Poor boy — he means well 
enough — and I will help him again — if he will only 
stick. 

Sim {off L.). Where's your soap, Tom? 

Tom. In the soap-dish — not among my collars. See 
it? 

Sim {offh.). Yes— all right. 

Tom. Hope the old gent Avon't appear just yet. 
(Goes to d. c, looks out — then goes down) No sign of 
him, but that British bore is on hand, as usual. 

ENTER Freddy d. c, stands, looks around through his 
monocle. 

Freddy. Ah, how de do — how de do? (Goes down, 
hopping) 

Tom. Good evening, Fred. What's the news? 

Freddy. Not a thing — only beastly wainy outside. 

Tom. Yes, it is rather damp. 

Sim {off L.). Where's your comb and brush, Tom? 

Freddy {surprised). Comb and bwush? 

Tom. a friend of mine arranging his toilet a little. 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 23 

{To Sim) You'll find it on my dressing-case — ^not in 
the clothes closet. 

Freddy. How funny. {Giggles) Where are the 
ladies? 

Tom. Feeding mosquitoes in the damp moonlight. 
Don't you want to join them? 

Freddy. Why yaas. {Turns R.) Have they been 
longing for me? 

Tom. All the evening. 

Freddy. I will go and suppwise them. 

[EXIT D. r., Jioppiy.g out 

Tom. Do so, Birdie. And yet he allows his mother 
to take in washing. {Looks out c.) Great Scott! The 
old man! (Stm puts head in at d. l.) He's coming! 
Quick ! Go over there and sit down. 

ENTER Sim d. l. well dressed and groomed. 

Sim. How do I look — all right? (Crosses r. and 
sits, picking up hook) 

Tom. No — he wouldn't know you from Adam. 

ENTER Zeb d. c. 

Zeb. Good evenin'. Thort I was late. 

Tom. No — just in time. 

Zeb. Thet starched-up chap at the front door wa'n't 
a-goin' ter let me in, but when I mentioned yer name 
he jack-knifed himself inter all sorts o' spasms, an' told 
me ter pass up. Fust ofP he grinned at me like a mon- 
key with the mumps. 

Tom {laughs). He is the general door-tender of these 
apartments, you know. 

Zeb. Thort he owned 'em by his style. 

Sim {over his hook — aside). Dear old dad. How 
ch-anged. 

Tom. By the way, I want to introduce you to a 
friend. Ah, Archie. {Motions to Sim, who gets up 
and GOES to them) Shake hands with Mr. Wiggins. 



24 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

Zeb. How be yer? {They shake hands) 

Sim. Glad to meet any friend of Tom's. (Aside) 
He does not know me. 

Zeb. So be I. Tom's a double-lined, mahogany- 
stock Vermounter, an' used ter make sand-pies with my 
boy when they was little tots. Be you a New Yorker ? 

Sim (a little confused). No — I am a cosmopo- 
lite. 

Zeb {puzzled — aside to Tom). What be that? 

Tom. He's a flitter. Here, there and everywhere. 

Zeb {to Sim). Yer ain't seen nuthin' o' Sim any- 
where, hev yer ? 

Sim. 'Sim? Who's Sim, and what kind of a looking 
man is he? 

Zeb. He Ava'n't no man — jest a plain leetle kid in 
jean pants an' straw hat. 

Sim. Don't think I have met such a lad. How long 
has he been gone ? 

Zeb. a leetle over five years. Yer see, he run away 
frum hum cos he didn't like ter Avork on the farm. His 
exaspirashuns was higher. 

Sim. I see. Didn't know when he was well off. I 
suppose you have a huge cowhide waiting for him when 
he returns? 

Zeb. Cowhide? No, sir — nuthin' but these arms. 
He's as welcome there now as the day he was born. 

Sim. Thank Heaven for that. 

Zeb {significantly). What made yer say thet? 
Mebbe yer've run across him somewhere, an' don't 
want ter tell me. 

Sim {trouhled). No, no, no. 

Tom {aside to Sim). Be careful. You'll give your- 
self away. 

Sim. I was but expressing my sympathy for both 
you and your boy. {Turns aivay) 

Zeb. Say, Tom, yer friend acts kind o' queer. Hain't 
got hornets in his gallery, has he? 
^ Tom {laughing). Sound as a dollar, but full of emo- 
tion for the misfortunes of others. 



Wiggins of Pop-Oyer Farm 26 

Zeb. Be thet so? Well, it's kind o' Christian like. 

Sim (aside). How I would like to rush into his arms. 
{Sits R.) 

Zeb. Say, Tom, do I look fit to meet the gals ? This 
coat o' mine seems to have a kind o' spring halt in the 
back. {Shrugs his shoulder s) 

Tom. Does it? . I wouldn't notice it. It will pass 
all right, and you look like a Broadway Johnny. 

Zeb {smiles). Do I? New clothes make a feller feel 
mighty sassy, don't they? Fit all right? {Turns 
around) 

Tom. Like the skin on a prune. Admirable. 

Zeb. Well, fetch along yer gals. I'm jes' dyin' ter 
throw some Vermount language at 'em. 

Sim {aside — smiling). Same old dad. 

Tom. I'll go see where the ladies are. [EXIT d. r. 

Zeb. Thet's the ticket. {To Sim) You be an old 
friend o' Tom's, ain't yer? 

Sim {rising and closing hook). Oh yes. We've 
known each other since childhood. 

Zeb. Since childhood? Why, Tom was brought up 
in my town. I never seed yer there. 

Sim {a little confused). That is, I mean after he 
came to New York we met. 

Zeb. Well, he was purty well grow'd up then. 

Sim. Yes — that's true. I meant to say we were 
mere youths, when I left him here and went on my 
travels. 

Zeb. Yer must know a heap now. Goin' ter stay in 
New York? 

Sim. No. I have a few interests out West. Soon as 
I clear them up, I intend to return and settle down with 
the old folks. {Aside) I'm a splendid liar. 

Zeb. I guess they'll be glad of it. If yer see my boy 
out West, will yer jes' tell him his dad an' Aunt Mandy 
is jes' dyin' fer him to cum back? 

Sim. Certainly, sir. But how would I know him? 

Zeb. Why, by a scar on his hand, which he got 
shootin' off Fourth o' July fireworks. 



26 Wiggins of Pop- Over Farm 

Sim (hastily conceals left hand). I'll try to find 
your son for you. 

Zeb. Much obliged. {Shakes Sim's right hand) 

ENTER Tom, Amy, Grace and Freddy d. r. 

Tom. Ah, ladies, permit me to introduce two old 
friends — Mr. Wiggins and Mr. Livingston. (Winks at 
Sim) 

Zeb. Glad fer to know yer. (Bows and scrapes awk- 
wardly, while Sim hows) 

Amy. You are quite welcome, gentlemen. (To Zeb) 
Won't you be seated? 

Zeb. Don't keer if I do. These 'ere new-fangled 
shoes kinder pinches. (All appear surprised. Zeb and 
Amy sit on settee l., ivhile the others sit r. Fussy busi- 
ness hy Zeb, brushing dust from settee, and otherwise 
trying to be poliie. Others laugh quietly to themselves) 

Tom (^0 Grace). A little eccentric, but a good old 
soul. You must excuse his mistakes. 

Grace. Why certainly. I think I would enjoy them. 
He's from the country, is he not? 

Tom. Yes. He lives in the town in which I was 
born. 

Sim. And I also. 

Grace. What town was that? 

Tom. Booneboro, Vermont. 

Grace. Why, that is Amy's birthplace. 

Sim (aside). The devil! 

Tom. So it was. You remember, Archie, the little 
girl who always dressed in red, and gave the teacher so 
much trouble? 

Sim. Yes — she was a holy terror. 

Tom. Well, that's the terror over there. 

Grace (laughing). And she's as full of frolic as 
ever. But come, gentlemen, let me show you Tom's 
new rockery. (Rises) 

Sim. Should be delighted. (Aside) Anything to 
get out of sight of the terror. I'm between two fires 
here. 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 27 

Grace {to Amy). Amy, I'm going to show the gen- 
tlemen the rockery. 

Freddy. Yaas — let's go see the little fishes. 

Amy. That 's right. And I '11 stay and entertain Mr. 
Wiggins. {Smiling) His shoe pinches. 

Grace. Very well. Come, gentlemen. (Sim escorts 
Grace) [EXEUNT both d. r. 

Tom {to Freddy, following Grace and Sim). Don't 
you like to see the little fishes caper about ? 

Freddy. Why yaas. Ain't they funny? {Giggles) 

[EXEUNT both D. R. 

Zeb {seeing Freddy's hopping movements). Thet 
feller must hev a wasp in his sock. {Both laugh) 

Amy. No — he 's only a simpleton, and quite harmless. 

Zeb. So I should jedge. Don't think he would 
amount to much in a Injin war. 

Amy. I guess not. Tom tells me you are from Ver- 
mont. 

Zeb. Thet's right. From Booneboro. A purty dead 
town, but we kin raise the biggest rats in the state. 

Amy. Why, dear me — I was raised in Booneboro, 
and lived there till I was twelve years old. 

Zeb. Go way — yer wa'n't. You ain't one o' the 
Crockers thet lived on the hill jest above the canal? 

Amy. Yes I am — and I used to go to the same school 
with your son Sim. 

Zeb. Yer did? Well, I'm powerful glad to meet 
yer. {They shake hands) You ain't thet leetle Crocker 
gal what poured ink down yer teacher's back one day? 

Amy. I am — the same mischievous girl. 

Zeb. Well, I swan. Why, I know'd yer whole fam- 
ily. I guess you must know a hull lot o' folks at 
Booneboro. 

Amy. I remember very few, for I have been away so 
long. 

Zeb. You 'member Elvira Spofford, don't yer? 

Amy. Yes, I believe I do. She was a very tall 
woman, was she not? 
• Zeb. Yer hit it. So tall she had ter stoop to see her 



28 Wiggins of Pop- Over Farm 

feet. Well, Elvira run off an' married Tim Keefe, the 
one-eyed hack driver. 'Member old Sam Jones,- what 
kept the grocery? 

Amy. Very well. 

Zeb. Dead too. Good thing. He was the meanest 
cuss thet ever looked out a winder. Why, Sam was so 
stingy thet he used ter scrape the sugar frum the fly's 
legs what happened to git in his barrel. 

Amy {laughs). Well, he must have been saving. 

Zeb. 'Member little Sophie Hill? 

Amy. Oh yes. Sophie was in our school. 

Zeb. Well, she ain't now. She's gone too. 

Amy. Gone ? 

Zeb. Yes — to a land where all she needs is a change 
of heart and a palm leaf fan. (Amy laughs heartily) 

Amy. Is old Mrs. Mooney still living? 

Zeb. Livin'? Well, she is, an' is still in the same 
bus'ness — raisin' cats. Thet woman's had more kittens 
born to her than she's got hairs in her head. She 
skinned a lot o' them one day, an' went round town 
sellin' 'em fer squirrels. 

Amy. My — what imposition. 

Zeb. Wuss'n that. It was downright bigamy. 
They ketched her at it, an' she had to shoo off roaches 
fer six months in jail. 

Amy. Possible? I suppose Booneboro is quite a 
large town now. 

Zeb. Yes, it's grow'd right smart since you left. 
Jake Miller's built him a bran new chicken coop, an' the 
Perkinses has put in a new kitchen door. Some other 
buildin's has gone up, but they're in the nex' town. 
'Member the punkin parties we used ter hev? 

Amy. Guess I do — and enjoyed them too. 

Zeb. Snap seeds at the boys? 

Amy (laughs). Yes — wasn't it fun? 

Zeb. An' when the boys ketched you, yer hed ter 
kiss 'em, or git all daubed up with taller ? 

Amy. Yes, yes. Those were pleasant days. 

Zeb. Gosh ding it — I wish I'd fetched sum punkins 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 29 

along. We could had some fun right here, couldn't 
we? 

Amy. That we could. We haven't got any pumpkin 
seed — but why couldn 't we get up a little country dance, 
just to remind us of old times? 

Zeb. That's the ticket. I ain't no slouch when it 
comes to pintin' a toe. {Gets up, goes through a few 
steps, and sits doiun again) 

Amy {applauding). That's splendid. Why, you're 
as light as a feather on your feet. 

Zeb. Took a prize one 't with them steps. Zeke Long 
'lowed as how I could dance as chipper as them folks 
what clip it out on the stage. You 'member Zeke ? He 
used ter keep a department store in a coal-bin next to 
the Post-Orfice. 

Amy {laughs). I scarcely remember him. 

Zeb. Well, he's no great shakes now. He's drinkin' 
himself right inter the graveyard. Say, Tom's been 
purrin ' round you some time, hain 't he ? 

Amy {shyly). I think he likes me very much. Why 
do you ask? 

Zeb. Jest to say somethin'. An' I notice since I've 
been in town he 's slacked off on his vittels. 

Amy. Is that a sign? {Laughs) 

Zeb. Sure an' sartin. Why, when I was a-settin' 
up to my wife, I only lived on the smell of her kitchen 
till we got hitched. But I want you an' Tom ter cum 
down to the old home an' stay a spell — an' try some of 
Mandy's pop-overs. 

Amy. I would be delighted to go, if Tom is willing. 

Zeb. Well, he'll cum fast enough if you say the 
word. Why, he jes' loves the groun' you walk on. 

Amy. Think so? {Anxiously) He hasn't told me 
so yet. 

Zeb. Wait till yer hear him talk in his sleep. Hello 
— here cum the folks back again. {Both rise) 



30 Wiggins of Pop- Over Farm 

ENTER c. Grace and Freddy. He is very attentive to 
Jier, and giggling. Tom and Sim follow. If de- 
sired, two or three other ladies and gentlemen. 

Amy. Well, how did you like the new rockery, Mr. 
Fitzmauriee ? 

Freddy. Lovely, don't you know — and the little gold 
fishes were so cunning. 

Grace. But he didn't get very close to them. Afraid 
they would bite. 

Amy. No danger. They only bite at little insects 
that skim on the water. 

Zeb {to Freddy). Say, why didn't you jump in? 
{All laugh) 

Freddy. Yaas — I see. How funny. {Giggles) But 
I can't swim. 

Zeb. Well, yer could o' made a bluff at it with thet 
wriggle o' yourn. {All laugh) 

Tom. What do you all say to a little music? 

Grace. Or a song? 

Amy. As you please. {Introduction of any spe- 
cialty — song or quartette — by the characters if desired) 

Zeb. Thet be mighty fine. {Omit if no specialty is 
introduced) What's the matter with a reg'lar old Vir- 
ginny Eeel? 

Amy. That's it, Mr. Wiggins — a Virginia Reel. 
Take your partners. {Introduction of Virginia Reel, 
during whicli Zeb takes off first his coat, then his vest, 
and is about to take off his shoes, when the gentlemen 
stop him) 

ENTER Jim Nelson suddenly at d. c, with left arm in 
a sling, dressed shabbily, and with an ugly look on 
his face. The ladies, frightened. Gentlem'^m sepa- 
rate, dressing stage, Jim glares at Zeb. 

Tom. What do you want here ? 

Jim. That man there! {Points to Zeb) 

Zeb. Didn't yer git enough o' me las' night, yer 
skunk? 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 31 

Jim. Yes, I did ; but it 's my turn to-night. See this 
arm? You broke it. I've been hunting you all day, 
and traced you here to-night. 

Zeb. What yer goin' ter do 'bout it? 

Jim. Do? Just this. {Pulls pistol from his pocket) 
It's your life or mine! {Raises pistol excitedly and 
points at Zeb, when his arm is struck by Sim, and they 
struggle. Sim wrenches pistol from him, and points it 
at him. Jim cowers, and falls to his knees, Sim having 
him hu the collar. Excitement of all) 

QUICK CURTAIN 



Note. — For second curtain, character* change posi- 
tions quickly. Sim and Jim are up at d. c, Sim still 
pointing pistol at him. Freddy down r., frightened 
and trembling. Equal number of characters on each 
side of stage. 



32 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 



ACT III 

SCENE. — Pop-Over Farm. One year later. Set coun- 
try house L. part of side elevation with two or three 
steps leading up to front door. Short paling or fence 
running across hack, with gate in center. A road 
beyond fence. Entrances R. and l. hack of fence. 
Dairy at r. opposite house, showing a few milk cans 
inside. Clothes-line with linens ha^iging. En- 
trance DOWN R. Entrance down l. leading to ham. 
If practical, a set ivell at hack, hut this is not neces- 
sary. Rocker down r. Other things about stage 
to give it a rural atmosphere. Perspective country 
drop. Can he modified to suit conditions. DIS- 
COVERED Mandy sitting in rocker, sewing. 

ENTER Speck l., crosses to dairy. She is singing and 
carries a tin 7nilking pail. Before her entrance, if 
desired, a quartette can be sung outside, or lively 
orchestral music. 

Mandy {as Speck crosses to dairy). Cows seem to 
be doin' purty well to-day? 

Speck. Yes, Aunt Mandy; this is the fourth pail of 
milk to-day and I thought the old white cow was never 
going to be drained. (Laughs) 

Mandy. Thet's cos Zebediah's been keepin' her in 
the new pasture. 

Speck. I guess it is. {Speaks from dairy) And 
my, we '11 have some rich cream, too. 
' Mandy. Yer mus' be purty tired, Speck. You was 
up afore daylight this mornin'. 

Speck. Oh, that's nothing. {Comes from dairtj) I 
had a lot of extra things to do. No girl could get tired 
working for you and Uncle Zeb, and in such a peaceful 
home as you have given me. 

Mandy. I'm glad yer 'predate it — cos I didn't take 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 33 

to you fust off, jes' cos yer cum frum thet big wicked 

^^ty. . , , -, 

Speck. Yes, it is wicked; but any girl can be good 
if she wants to, even in a big city. {Kneels on one 
knee hij Mandy's side) But when dear mamma died, 
and Uncle Zeb had her remains brought here to be 
buried in the little graveyard over there, and brought 
me to live with you, I saw the difference between the 
hard hearts of the city and the good souls Providence 
sent me amongst. 

Mandy. Thet's cos yer know how ter behave yerselt, 
an' don't gad about an' stick yer nose in everybody's 
business like them Spriggins girls up on the hill. Yer've 
made us all love yer, an' we can't help ourselves. 

Speck. And I shall study to deserve that love. 
{Rises. Discordant sounds of clarionette heard faintly 
in distance, gradually becoming louder) 

Mandy. Thet's that Skinner boy, with his everlastni 
toot-horn. 

Speck {looking ojf l.). So it is. Isn't he funny? 

Mandy. Funny? 'Bout as funny as a hearse. 

ENTER Ben Skinner l. tJirougJi gate, hloiving hard on 
clarionette. Gets to c. and stops. 

Ben. Ma wants ter know kin she borrer yer auger? 
{Speaks loudly and in hoy fashion) 

Mandy. What fer? 

Ben. Wants to bore holes in doughnuts. {Gtves a 
loud ''Haw! haw! haw!" blows his clarionette, and 
EXIT slowly through gate. Speck laughs heartily) 

Mandy. He thinks thet mighty smart. 

Speck. He's only simple, aunty, but harmless. But 
lUst think— I haven't washed the dinner dishes yet. 

[EXIT into house 

Mandy. Dear child. Allers doin' somethin'. Well, 
she took a big load off'n my shoulders when she cum 
here a year ago— an' she says I am allers to be the lady 



34 Wiggins of Pop- Over Farm 

of the house, an' set in the parlor an' listen to what's 
cookin' fer dinner. All very fine, but 'tain't nateral. 

ENTER Uriah Speed l., walks slowly and speaks with 
a half piping voice. 

Uriah. Afternoon, Mandy. Haven't seen nuthin' 
' thet mule o ' mine roun ' here, hev yer 1 

ENTER Uncle Zeb through gate from l. 

Mandy. Fer land 's sakes ! Hes it 'got out agin ? 

Uriah. Yes — afore daylight. 

Zeb (going down). Yer a bigger jackass then yer 
mule. Why don't yer pen it up while it's teethin'? 

Uriah. You can't give me no advice, Zeb Wiggins. 
Yer lost two calves yerself las' year. Why didn't yer 
pen 'em up? 

Zeb. Cos I went ter New York, an' yer promised to 
look out fer 'em fer me. 

Uriah. Well, I hed my own stock ter look arter. 
'Tain't no easy job ter run two farms to onc't. 

Mandy. Oh, quit yer talkin'. You two be allers 
quarrelin' 'bout nothin'. 

Zeb. 'Tain't my fault, b'gosh. Uriah's got so 
mulish lately thet his disposition's all curled up inter 
knots. 

Uriah. No 'tain't neether. I'm jes' as lively an' 
spry as you be, Zeb Wiggins. (Walks feebly to gate, 
Zeb watching him) 

Zeb. I jedge so. About as spry as a hired man goin' 
to work. {Laughs at Uriah. Uriah turns, makes face 
at Zeb and EXIT r. through gate) 

Mandy. You oughtn't ter hector Uriah so. He's 
gittin' old. 

Zeb. An' mighty complainin' too. It was only yes- 
terday he tongue-lashed me cos I didn't hev no pip 
medicine in the house — jes' as if I was the chicken doc- 
tor of the county. 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 35 

ENTER Jim Nelson as a tramp, from behind liouse. 
Stops and listens. 

Mandy. Yer act like two big babies. Well, did yer 
draw the money? 

Zeb. Every cent I bed in the bank — jes' two thou- 
san' dollars. {Takes out pockethook and shows her the 
money) Bran' new. Mr. Thurston said they jes' cum 
frum the factory at Washington. Thet four hundred 
Sim sent in Speck's letters helped out mighty consid- 
erable. 

Mandy. Bless his heart. An' thet '11 clear the hull 
farm, won't it? 

Zeb. Ev'ry durned inch of it, when I pay it over 
to-morrow. {Places notes in pockethook, and hook in 
coat pocket. Turns as he does this, so Jim can see the 
action) Crops has got ter yield somethin' now, Mandy, 
fer livin' expenses. (Jim shakes fist at Zeb, a7id dodges 
behind house) 

Mandy. Well, we'll jes' trust in the Lord. {Rises 
and CROSSES to house) Yer want ter be mighty keerful 
o' thet money. Hadn't I better take keer of it fer you 
till mornin"? 

Zeb. It's safe with me, Mandy. Yer might git up in 
the night an' use it fer dish-rags. {Laughs) 

Mandy {on steps, turning). Want ter know. Smart, 
ain't yer? [EXIT into house 

Zeb. Mandy 's grow'd nervous since she bed thet 
back tooth pulled. Guess I'll step over to the barn an' 
see how thet sick roan is. [EXIT l. 

ENTER Speck from house; carries a pitcher and is 
singing. Crosses to dairy, sets pitcher on bench, 
GOES into dairy, humming continually. ENTER 
Sim through gate from r. RE-ENTER Speck 
from dairy and confronts Sim. 

Sim {politely, tipping hat). Beg pardon. Is not this 
Miss Speck? 
Speck (startled). Yes, sir; but I don't know you. 



36 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

Sim. Well, you should, considering you have been 
writing to me for six months in father's behalf. 

Speck. What! You are not Mr. Sim? 

Sim (smiles). I am guilty. (They gaze at each other 
a moment, wonderingly) 

Speck. But where have I seen you before? 

Sim. I was about to ask you the same question. 

Speck (thinking). I know now. I met you in New 
York. You must remember me. (Yells) Violets — 
sweet violets ! 

Sim. What ! The little flower girl who gave me such 
good advice? 

Speck. I guess so. Shake! (They shake hands 
warmly) 

Sim. Well, I'm flabbergasted! But you — I can't get 
it through me — how is it you are here — at my old home? 

Speck. It's a long story. Don't question me now. 
Will tell you all later. But I'm so glad to see you — and 
your people will be rejoiced to know you have returned. 

Sim. Think so? I have my doubts about the old 
gentleman. 

Speck. You needn't. He will be only too glad to 
welccJme you. He's over at the barn. I'll go call him. 
(Starts to go l.) 

Sim. Not for the world. I 'm afraid he 's got it in for 
me yet, and will never forgive me for running away 
from home six years ago. But I have tried hard to 
redeem myself, and have saved up a little money that 
may be useful to him. 

Speck. Oh, he will be delighted to hear that. When 
did you arrive? 

Sim. Two days ago, and am stopping at the hotel. 
No one seems to know me, for I have grown out of their 
memory. I have been here several times — loitering 
about — just to get a glimpse of father and Aunt Mandy, 
but never could. I wanted ta walk boldly into the house 
every time, but I did not have the courage. 

Speck (laughing). Kinder scary, eh? 

Sim. That's it, I guess. {Laughs) Now, little girl, 



Wiggins of Pop- Over Farm 37 

don't say anything just yet to them. I'll run over to 
the hotel and get my suit-ease, and will be right back. 

Speck. Come back for good? 

Sim. Yes, for good. A young and interesting person 
like yourself in the house will be an incentive, if there 
were no other. 

Speck. Ain't that nice? Well, I'll say nothing. 

Sim. Thank you for that. I want you to stand be- 
tween us if dad has a pitchfork in his hand when we 
meet. { Laughs) 

Speck. No danger. But I'll help you out. I can 
work him all right. 

Sim. That's encouraging. Well, good-bye for half 
an hour. (Goes to gate) 

Speck. Good-bye. 

Sim (looking l.). Who are those hard-looking cusses 
down the road there? (Speck runs up to gate) I saw 
them loitering near the house as I came up the road. 

Speck. Tramps, I guess. But they never trouble us. 

Sim. Never can tell. Better keep an eye on them. 

[EXIT R. through gate 

Speck. Just to think — the young fellow I used to 
preach to on the Bowery — is here — right under their 
noses — and they don't know it. I'm just dying to tell 
them. My, but he's turned out a nice young man, and 
I guess none of us will see our beds till 12 o'clock to- 
night. (Goes into dairy) 

ENTER Mandy from house. Goes to clothes line, and 
feels the linen. 

Mandy {as she crosses). How's the milk a-creamin'. 
Speck? 

Speck. Splendid. Guess we'll skim three or four 
pints in the morning. {Remains in dairy) 

ENTER Zeb l. 

Zeb. The roan's all right, Mandy. Otis says she's 
eatin' better to-day. 
Mandy {as she takes linens from line) . Glad to hear 



SS Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

thet, fer Sim used to ride her when she was a colt, an' 
thet mare was his favorite. Dear boy. I'm jes' dyin- 
to see him. 

Zeb. I guess we both be. It wunt be many more 
moons now. 

Mandy (going down, ivith armful of linen). What 
was it he writ to Speck 'bout comin'? 

Zeb {takes letter from pocket), I read it to yer onc't. 

Mandy. Well, read it agin. 

Zeb. He says: {Reads) ''Tell dad an' Aunt Mandy 
they Avill see me un-ex-pect-ed-ly. " 

Mandy. Thet's a big word, ain't it! What's it 
mean? 

Zeb. I'm s 'prised at yer. It means thet he Avill git 
here afore he knows it himself. Oh, Sim's no slouch 
at slingin' big words. {Folds letter and puts it in 
pocket) An' Tom Mason writ me thet Sim was the best 
figgerer in his store. 

Mandy. Ain't thet fine? I alles told yer thet boy'd 
turn out all right. What did Mr. Thurston say 'bout 
takin ' him in the bank ? 

Zeb. Said he'd give him a good persition if I would 
go on his bond. I told him I'd do it if it cost me the 
price of the farm. 

Mandy. Thet's right. Nothin' too good fer thet boy. 
Well, yer'd better wash up fer supper. {Sounds of 
clarionette in distance r.) 

ENTER Uriah r. through gate, 

Zeb. Well, hev yer found thet mule yit ? 

Uriah. Guess I did. Down by the station. Them 
truck hands was a ticklin' him with straws. Jake's a 
drivin' him hum now. 

Zeb. ' Yer ought ter run a chain through thet mule's 
ear, an' hitch him to a stall. 

Uriah. Guess I'll hev ter. (Goes towards l. and 
turns) Say, Zeb, I noticed Pritchard's hogs was in yer 
pertato patch agin. [EXIT l. 



Wiggins of Pop- Over Farm 39 

Zeb. I'll kill half a dozen o* tjiem hogs yet. {ClariO' 
nette grows louder) 
Mandy. There's thet id jit agin. 

ENTER Ben r., through gate, blowing lustily. 

Zeb. Here, here — stop thet caterwaulin '. What do 
yer want ? 

Ben {to Mandy). Ma says will yer cum over an' tell 
her how much vinegar yer put in a pan o' biskit. (Zeb 
and Mandy laugh heartily. Ben blows clarionette) 

Zeb. Stop it! Stop it! (Ben stops) Want ter 
drive us as crazy as you be? Go hum an' tell yer ma 
four quarts o' vinegar to one pan o' dough. 

Ben (loudly). Haw! haw! haw! [Blows again, and 
EXIT L. through gate) 

Mandy. Should think they'd put thet boy in some 
confirmatory. * 

Zeb. Let him alone. He'll blow t'other side of his 
brain out some day. 

[EXEUNT Mandy and Zeb into house 

ENTER Jim stealthily from behind house, and looks in. 

Jim. He's got money! I saw it! And I'll have it 
before morning. That will be some revenge. (Crosses 
stealthily to R. Sees Speck coming out of dairy, and 
grasps her wrist as she ENTERS) Oh, you're here, are 
you? 

Speck (frightened). Jim! 

Jim. Yes, it's Jim — and you've kept me on the jump 
hunting you for a whole year. 

Speck. Let go my wrist! (Struggles and breaks 
away) 

Jim. You're spunky, ain't you? 

Speck. What do you want with me? I'm nothing 
to you. 

Jim. No — I don't s'pose you want to be either. And 
you're living in fine style, ain't you, in your nice duds 
and plenty to eat and drink? 



40 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

Speck. Leave this place, or I'll call for help. 

Jim. Oh, you will, will you? Well, call if you want 
'em all to know you are my niece, and that you deserted 
me in my misfortunes. 

Speck. You deserved them all, for you were too lazy 
to work and lead an honest life. If you had any man- 
hood in you, you would have helped me from the life 
I had to live to support you and dear mother. 

Jim. Well, you were better able to work than I was, 
wasn 't you ? 

Speck. No. Heaven gave you health, education and 
ability, which you abused to satisfy your craving for 
drink and a profligate life. 

Jim. Well, that was my business. I'm sober now 
{Pulls out both pockets) but not healthy here. 

Speck. What's that to me? I have no money to 
give you. 

Jim. Oh, yes you have. You haven't been working 
here a whole year without having a little nest egg. 

Speck. I have no nest egg, as you call it. These 
good people here have simply done what it was your 
duty to do — given me a home. I work hard, and am 
not ashamed of it. Let me pass. 

Jim (getting in front of her). Not yet. I haven't 
tramped all over New England to find you — and now 
that I have, you've either got to shell out or tramp back 
to the city with me. 

Speck. Heavens, what shall I do? 

Jim. Do? Do as I say. You ain't going to live in 
fine style here, while your poor uncle has to exist on the 
scrapings of farmhouses and country hotels. See here 
— that old man in there has got money — right in his 
pocketbook. I saw it — and I want you to get some of it 
for me. 

Speck. What! Steal from my benefactor? 

Jim. I don't care. Stealing from him is a virtue. 
See that arm? {Bares it) 'Tain't straight yet. You 
saw him do it, and I 'm going to get even if it costs me 
my life, and his, too. 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 41 

Speck. Would you harm Uncle Zeb? {Frightened) 

Jim. Oh, he's your uncle, too, eh? Well, you're 
picking up uncles fast, ain't you? But you do as I say, 
or back to the city you go. 

Speck. Back there, to slave again in the streets for 
you ? Never ! 

Jim. But you will! (Raises his arm threateningly) 

Speck {facing him defiantly). Strike if you dare! 

Mandy {inside house). Specky dear. 

Jim {sarcastically), Specky dear! Somebody's call- 
ing you. Not a word that you saw me here, or look out 
for yourself. I'll be on your track, wherever you are. 

Speck (crossing). Yes, Aunt Mandy, in a minute. 
{On steps, turning) Jim Nelson, if you know what's 
good for you, you will leave here at once. One word 
from me, and the boys will have you struggling for 
your life in the canal. [EXIT into house 

Jim. Will they? Let them try it. That's a pretty 
way to treat her own flesh and blood. {Peeps in house) 
Tlie old man's taken off his coat. Wonder where he 
keeps it? Well, I'll find out before midnight, and 
what's in it, too. {Clarionette heard in distance l.) 
That country fool. (Crosses down) Why don't they 
hang him? [EXIT l. 

ENTER Sim r. through gate, pompously. Carries suit- 
case and walks as if he were going to face the or- 
deal bravely. Stops at steps, looks in house, and 
retreats. 

Sim. Oh, Lord — my courage has oozed away. If 
Speck were only here. {Slaps his breast, as Speck ap- 
pears on steps, sees his action, and laughs) 

ENTER Speck from house. 

Speck. Oh, you're back again. Afraid to come in? 
Sim. Not afraid — just a little timid. 
Speck. Well, I promised to help you. (Turns and 
calls) Uncle Zeb! (Goes down) 



42 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

Zeb (inside). Yes, Speck — what is it? 
Sim. He's coming! Don't spring him on me all at 
once. 

Speck. Hide behind the dairy. (Sim hides) 

ENTER Zeb from house. He is in shirt sleeves. 

Zeb. What's up, little gal! Got a hornet in yer 
hair? 

Speck. No — but I've got a surprise for you. 

Zeb (going down). S 'prise fer me? What's it? 
Mus' be funny, yer laughin' so. 

Speck. Well, what would you think if — if — think — 
if— if 

Zeb. I ain 't a thinkin ' — yer doin ' it all. Spit it out ! 
What's the s 'prise? 

Speck. There^-there it is, right over there! {Point- 
ing to dairy) 

Sim {coming from behind dairy). Father! 

Zeb {seeing him, with good business of trying to 
realize). Why, it's — no it ain't — it ain't Sim? 

Speck. Yes it is — that's him! {Bobs her head up 
and doivn) 

Zeb {nervously). Jes' wait till I git the ants out o' 
my garret. {Scratches his head, adjusts his glasses, and 
surveys Sim a moment) My boy! My boy! {They 
rush into each other's aryns, with good business. EN- 
TER Uriah l., stands surprised) Got yer hum at last, 
haven't I? (Speck busies herself about dairy) 

Sim. Yes, father. 

Zeb {holds both his hands, andr surveys him). My, 
how you hev grow'd. Why, yer look as slick as a ripe 
apple. Come right here agin! {They embrace again) 

Uriah. What's matter, Zeb? Havin' a fit? 

Zeb. You shet up! You'd hev a fit, too, if yer'd 
stumble up agin yer boy what yer heven't seen fer six 
year. {To Sim, admiringly) Jumpin' skeeters, but 
ain't yer fine lookin'? Why, yer a real out-an'-out man 
iiow, ain't yer? 

Sim. Pretty near it, dad. {Laughs) 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 43 

Zeb. Why, Uriah, you 'member what a leetle kid he 
was? 

Uriah. Yes — he wa'n't mor'n grasshopper high when 
I seed him last. 

Sim (going to Uriah). And this is our old next- 
door neighbor. {Shake hands) 

Uriah. Powerful glad ter see yer back. Yer dad jes' 
worried himself inter connipshuns arter yer left hum. 

Sim. I know it was wrong, but it was for the best, 
and I know (Going to Zeb) dad will forgive me. 

Zeb {wiping his eyes). Hain't got nuthin' to fer- 
give. I jes' know I've got yer hum agin, an' yer got ter 
stay if I hev ter chain yer to ther groun\ 

Sim {laughing), I'll not run away again, dad. I 
have seen the world, reveled in its fancies and follies, 
and am tired of it all, and dear old Pop-Over Farm will 
be my refuge now. 

Zeb. I'm mighty glad ter hear yer say thet. {Aside 
to Uriah) Say, Uriah, did yer ketch on ter the fine 
language ? 

Uriah. Yes. He seems powerful eddicated now. 

Sim. But where 's dear old aunty? 

Zeb {still a little flustered). Fergot all 'bout her. 
Speck, go tell Mandy we got a s 'prise for her out here. 

[EXIT Speck into house 

Sim. An interesting little girl that, dad. Where did 
she come from? 

Zeb. Jes' picked her up frum the slums of adversity 
an' transplanted her in a purer soil — thet's all. We've 
'dopted her. 

Sim. I'm glad of that. Say, dad, does she have any 
beaux coming around ? 

Zeb. Not much. She hain't no use fer 'em. Bob 
Durkins' boy saw her in church one night, an' sent her 
four sticks o' molasses candy the nex' day. She sucked 
'em all up, an' I b'leeve thet's 'bout as fur as Bob's 
boy got. 

Sim. I'll buy her a whole box. 

Zeb. She's not sellin' out fer candy, an' yer energy 



4:4: Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

will liev ter be in purty good workin' order to git ahead 
o' thet leetle gal. 

Uriah. Yes — she's par-tick-e-lar. {Chuckles) 

ENTER Mandy from Jiouse, sees Sim, and primps her- 
self, 

Mandy. Sakes alive ! A fine young man. 

Sim. Howdy, Aunt Mandy? 

Mandy {looks at him a moment in surprise). Why, 
it's Sim! {Rushes into his arms, and kisses him re- 
peatedly) 

Uriah. She's hevin' a fit how. 

Zeb. Jes' let her work it off. I had to. 

Mandy. Oh, who'd a thunk it — ^my leetle Sim — my 
leetle Sim! {Almost hlubhers) Gimme anuther hug, 
er I'll scream. {Quick embrace and business) 

Uriah. Better break 'em away, Zeb, er she'll go in- 
ter connipshuns. 

Zeb. Let her connip. It's doin' her good. 

Mandy {disengaging herself). Back agin! Our 
boy's back agin, Zebediah. 

Zeb. Yes — I've jest noticed it. 

Mandy. An' yer ain't goin' ter leave us no more, 
are yer? 

Sim. No, aunty — I've come home to stay. 

Mandy. Thank the Lord fer that. (Speck appears 
on steps with a tray and five glasses of cider) 

Zee. Cider. Yer mighty thoughtful. Speck. 

Speck (going down). I felt that you might want to 
drink the health of the young man. {Serves them and 
places tray on bench) 

Zeb. I guess we do. Yer all ready? {Holds up 
glass) Here's to the return of the prodigal. May he 
realize thet none kin love him better than his own flesh 
an' blood. 

Mandy. Amen ter thet. {All drink, leaving a little 
in their glasses and place them on tray. Lights down 
a little) 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 45 

Zeb. Speck, jes* run an' tell Otis to kill a chicken 
fer supper. Nuthin' too good fer my boy. 

Speck. All right. [EXIT l. 

Uriah. Glad yer goin' ter hev chicken fer the boy, 
cos I smelt corn beef a cookin' as I cum by the kitchen 
door. An' say, Zeb, I'll jes' run over an' fetch a bottle 
o' my apple-jack. 

Zeb. Hev it good an' snappy; an' say, Uriah, fetch 
yer gals over to supper. I want 'em ter see the kid they 
used ter make mud pies with. 

Uriah. I'll jes' do it. [EXIT l. 

Mandy. Say, Sim, 'skuse me if I made a fool o' my- 
self. Ain't seen yer fer so long thet it flustered me all 
over. 

Sim {laugJiing). That's all right, aunty. I scarcely 
deserve such an affectionate welcome. 

Zeb. Nuthin' yer don't deserve. Yer've made a man 
o' yerself, an' thet's mor'n many of yer playmates hev 
done. Say, Mandy, hadn 't yer better go in an ' git Sim 's 
room ter rights? 

Mandy. It's spick an' span. Speck takes keer of it 
ev'ry day. But I'll go in an' see 'bout thet chicken. 
Oh, I'm so glad our boy's back. {Embraces Mm 
quickly) [EXIT into 'house 

TiEB. Yer '11 find yer room jes' the same, my boy, 
only the wall paper's been changed from yaller to tur- 
key red. 

Sim (lauglis). That's all right, dad. 

Zeb. Say, Sim, I got the money yer sent me, an' it's 
helped out mighty consider 'bul. To-morrow the farm 
will be free from debt. 

Sim. Why, that's glorious. 

Zee. But I guess we'll hev ter sail a leetle close to 
the wind fer a spell — cos thet's all the money I had. 

Sim. Not so, dad. I have a few hundred in the bank, 
which I placed there this morning — and it 's all yours. 

Zeb. Say, don't take my breath away. Yer got 
money in the bank here, 'sides what yer sent me ? 

Sim. Yes — over six hundred. 



46 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm ^ 

.Zeb. Over six hun {Turns his hack to him) 

Say, Sim, kick me ! 

Sim (laughing). Oh, no, dad. It ought to be six 
thousand. 

ENTER Speck l. 

Speck. Oh, Uncle Zeb, Pritchard's hogs are in the 
radish patch again. 

Zeb. Darn them hogs. Jes' go in the house, Sim, an' 
take possession, while I go vaccinate them hogs. {Lights 
still lower — stage quite dark) [EXIT h. 

Speck. Those hogs give Uncle Zeb an awful lot of 
trouble. You must be quite hungry, aren't you? 

Sim. Oh, no — not at all. 

Speck. Well, supper will be ready soon. (Goes 
down) 

Sim. Tell me — do you like it here — away from the 
busy city? 

Speck. Oh, yes. Your father has made me one of 
the family; and my heart is so full when I think of all 
they have done for me, that I scarcely know how to 
voice my gratitude. Will you stay with us long? 

Sim. I'm pretty certain I will — at least as long as 
you remain with us. 

Speck. You may find me poor company. 

Sim. I'll take my chances. I haven't been in the 
house yet, and if you interest me as much inside of it 
as you do on the outside, I may never want to go out- 
doors. {Takes her hand, which she gently withdraws) 

Speck. I hope to win your respect, and I'll try to 
be a good little sister to you. 

Sim. a sister? Don't you think you could be nearer 
to me than that? 

Speck (shyly). I underhand you; but is it not bet- 
ter to let the future take care of questions like that? 
Our acquaintance is young yet. Wait till it grows older. 

Sim. You are a sensible little girl. Just box my ears. 

Speck. No, I'll not do that. (Laughs) But look!. 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 47 

''Points R., Jier features changing quickly) Don't you 
see those two fgurco skulking out there in the brush? 

Sim (looking r.)o Yes. Those two tramps. I'll 
wager they're round here for no good. See — they're 
sneakin[j this way. Are you brave, little girl? 

Speck. Brave enough to keep an eye on one of them. 

Sim. And I will on the other. Hide behind the 
house, and I will get behind the dairy. (Speck runs be- 
hind house, and Sim behind dairy) 

ENTER Jim r., sneakingly, a tramp following him. 
Jim tiptoes over to house and looks in. Goes to c, 
meets Tramp; both simidtaneously spy cider on 
bench, both eagerly rush for it, and hastily drain 
glasses. 

Jim. Somebody must have had a thirst on before we 
got here. Say, pard, couldn't be a better time. They 
are all in the back of the house. You hide in that milk- 
house there (Pointing) until you see me coming out. 
Keep a close watch, and if you see anybody coming up 
the road, you know the signal. Go in now. (EXIT 
Tramp into dairy. Jim tiptoes to house) Quiet as a 
churchyard. Now for that money. (Sneaks up steps 
and into house. Sim a7id Speck put their heads out 
from corners of both houses. He motions her back. She 
retires. Sim cautiously^ ENTERS, and makes a quick 
dash inside the dairy. Noise and scuffle inside, mingled 
with voices, and at end a crash, as if milk-cans had 
fallen. Sim, with the tramp's linen duster on and hat 
over his eyes, identical as the tramp had worn them, 
ENTERS simultaneously with Jim from the house. Jim 
sneaks down backivard, holding in his left hand Zeb's 
pocketbook. They meet c. Speck peers from behind 
house) See — I've got it! (Opens book quickly) Oh, 
look at the lovely notes! (Pushes them in and closes 
book hurriedly. Holds book in his left hand back of 
him, as he points with the other ojf r. Speck tiptoes to 
Jim's side) Now, pard, get over by the station, and I'll 
meet you there in ten minutes, and we'll divvy up. 



48 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

Speck {jerks pockethook from his hand). But not 
this evening, Jim Nelson 1 

Zeb and Mandy ENTER from house and stand sur- 
prised. 

Jim (turning, surprised and incensed, and grasps 
Speck's free arm). You, eh? Give me that book, or 

I'll (Raises his hand to strike her, when Sim fells 

him quickly with a hloiv of his fist. Then throws off his 
hat) 

Zeb. ) ci. , 

Mandy. J ^''^' 

PICTURE AND CURTAIN 

For second curtain, the tramp Avithout coat or hat, 
with blood on his face and generally demoralized, sneaks 
out of dairy and towards r., where he is met by Uriah, 
who ENTERS quickly and points a pitchfork at him. 
Sim is on one knee, with his hand about Jim's throat, 
and Speck is on steps, handing book to Zeb. Ben 
ENTERS R., blowing clarionette, sees state of affairs, 
stops blowing, looks frightened, and runs out. Mandy 
clinging to post on the porch, as if about to faint. 



ACT IV 

SCENE.— >Sf«me as Act III. Six months later. Towel 
hanging on line. If desired, quartette can he sung 
before raising curtai7i. ENTER Sim from house, 
wiping mouth with handkerchief. ENTER Speck 
from dairy, carrying jar of jam with white paper 
wrapped loosely around it. 

Sim. Hello, little one. What are you doing? (Goes 
down) 

Speck. Licking jam. Want some? Awful good. 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 49 

Sim. No, thanks. Just had dinner. But you didn't 
get it all in your mouth. You've got a smudge on your 
cheek. 

Speck (Jiolding up her face to Mm). Wipe it off. 
{He does so) Some on my fingers, too. {He wipes 
tliem) Going back to work now? 

Sim {looks at watch). Well, I've got fifteen minutes 
yet. 

Speck, I'm glad of that. You can tell me a heap in 
that time. Anything new about the robbery at the 
bank? 

Sim. Don't know. That Boston detective told the 
president that he thinks he will soon be able to put his 
hand on the robber. 

Speck. That 's good. Say, Sim, I don 't like the looks 
of that detective, nor his actions. He hobnobs with all 
the villagers, but whenever he .sees me on the street, 
he always keeps out of my way. Why, do you sup- 
pose? 

Sim. Don't know. It's strange, isn't it? 

Speck. If I could think Jim Nelson could become as 
respectable looking as that man appears to be, I 'd almost 
swear they were one and the same. 

Sim. I'm afraid you would be sadly mistaken. Jim 
Nelson has never been seen since he attempted to steal 
dad's money — at least in these parts. But come, sit 
down. {Looks at ivatch) I have only ten minutes now, 
and as soon as I post my books at the bank, I '11 have to 
go to the train to meet Tom. 

Speck. I forgot all about that. {Sets jar on end of 
the bench) But I wish he wasn't coming. 

Sim {sitting on bench and pulling her to him). Why, 
little one? 

Speck. Oh, just 'cause. 

Sim. That's no reason. {Laughs) Oh, I know. 
You think I will have to pay him so much attention that 
I will neglect you. 

Speck {biting her apron or dress). Huh! huh! 

Sim {placing arm around her). I could never do 



50 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

that, for you know my whole life is now centered in you 
and your happiness. 

Speck. Oh, ain't that nice? Say, Sim dear, what 
made you like me ? 

Sim. Ask me something easy. What made me like 
you? Do you really want to know? 

Speck {hohhing her head). Huh! huh! I'm just 
like other girls, you know. 

Sim. Well, I learned to like you because of your 
goodness, your unselfishness — the exalted qualities of 
your mind and heart. Little by little — day by day — 
you drew me to you through your noble character and 
womanly worth, until, with all the fervor of my nature, 
I had to confess that I loved you. Like the sensible lit- 
tle woman that you are, you told me to stop and weigh 
well the importance of my words, which I did — and this 
is the result. {Presses her close to him) Is it displeas- 
ing? 

Speck. No — I like it. (Buries her face against his 
shoulder) 

Sim. So do I. 

Speck {after this business). Well, why don't you 
kiss me? {He does so) Oh, Sim dear, I wonder if we 
are doing right? We are both so young, and some- 
times I think neither of us understands matrimony. 

Sim. Nobody does till they investigate — and that's 
what we are doing. When we are married we will 
thoroughly understand it. {Laughs. Clarionette heard 
quite near. They separate) 

ENTER Ben froju l., stands at gate. 

Ben. Ma says will yer lend her yer corkscrew. 

Sim. What for, Ben? 

Ben. Wants to draw a hair out o ' the butter. Haw I 
haw! haw! {Blows clarionette and EXIT R.) 

Sim {laughing). If that booby wasn't so funny, I'd 
vote to cremate him. 

Speck So would I — just now. 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 51 

Sim. Ah, well. Good-bye for a little while. (Em^ 
braces Speck) 

ENTER Zeb r., with a rake, 

Zeb. Break away! {They separate quickly) My, 
what a hurry young folks be in nowadays. Time yer 
was gittin' back to ther bank, ain't it, Sim? 

Sim {looking at watch). Guess it is, dad. Gee whiz! 

Just can make it. {Steals a kiss as Zee's hack is turned) 

[EXIT L. hurriedly through gate 

Zeb. I guess you kinder like thet youngster, don't 
yer? 

Speck. Indeed I do. Can't help it. He made me. 

Zeb. Thet's right. Lay it on ter the man. Women 
never do nuthin'. 

Speck. Well, you like him, too, don't you? 

Zeb. Every hair of his head. 

Speck. Well, you can't blame me then. (Goes to 
him) 

Zeb {taking her in his arms). I don't, little gal. If 
yer didn't, yer wouldn't be snifflin' agin his vest so 
much. Why, any gal in the village 'd give her corset 
strings jes' fer a smile from him. But his smiles ain't 
fer sale. He's resarvin' 'em all fer you. {Pats her on 
the hack) 

ENTER Mandy from house. 

Mandy. Land o' Goshen! I s'pose you two'd be 
huggin' each other if yer was in a open-face street car. 

Zeb. Wuss'n thet, Mandy. We'd do it in a demo- 
cratic eonvenshun. 

Mandy. Well, yer'd oughter be in better bus'ness. 
Yer city company may pop in any minnit, an' we ain't 
got a bit o' tea in the house. Wish yer'd run over to 
the grocery an' git a pound. 

Speck. I'll go, aunty. [EXIT Speck through gate r. 

Mandy. Don't keer who goes so's it gits here. 

[EXIT Mandy into house 



52 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

ENTER Uriah l. 

Uriah. Say, Zeb, thet Boston detective jes' called 
over to see me. 

Zeb. What 'd he want ? 

Uriah. Dunno 'zactly. Asked me all sorts o' ques- 
tions 'bout Sim an' thet bank robbery. But he didn't 
git nuthin' frum me. 

Zeb. He's gittin' purty fresh. Didn't say nuthin' 
agin Sim, did he — any insinnewations — yer know? 

Uriah. No — nuthiii' like thet. He was jes' tryin' 
ter nose out things. 

Zeb. Well, he'll git his nose in a vice if he says any- 
thing agin my boy. 

Uriah. Say, didn't thet robber leave no clue behind? 

^eb. Nuthin' but some bloody finger marks on a 
dab o' paper. Guess he must hev cut his hand purty 
bad. The cashier showed the marks to me an' Speck 
t'other day. 

Uriah. What 'd they look like? 

Zeb. Oh, like a duck's tracks in the mud. Can't tell 
nuthin' by them. Had yer dinner? 

Uriah. Yes — half a hour ago. 

Zeb. Then 'skuse me while I go in an' git a bite. 

[EXIT into house 

Uriah. Mandy'll give it to him fer bein' late. 



ENTER Mandy froin Jiouse. 

Mandy. Hain't Speck got back yit, Uriah? (Crosses 
to gate and looks out) 

Uriah. Hain't seed her. 

Mandy. Ner I don't see nuthin' of her neether. 
(Goes down) How's yer sister to-day, Uriah? 

Uriah. Seems to hev a little tetch o' the rheumatiz. 

Mandy. She ought ter be rubbed with beech-nut oil 
She's been keepin' house fer you a long time, Ziain't 
she? 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 53 

Uriah. Nigh on twenty-five year. You've been 
keepin' house fer Zeb a long time, too. 

Mandy. Can't help myself. Should think you'd git 
married agin, an' give yer sister a rest. 

Uriah. I've thort the same thing 'bout you an' Zeb. 

Mandy. Sakes alive! Nobody would hev me. 

Uriah. I guess yer wouldn't hev to look far. {Grins 
and pokes Iter in the rihs) 

Mandy {giggles). Now, you jes' stop yer foolishness. 

Uriah. Say, Mandy, I was tellin' Zeb t'other day 
that we ort ter swap housekeepers, git married, settle 
down, an' grow up with the village. {Smiles silly, and 
puts arm around her) He thort it was a good ijee. 

Mandy. Now you jes' stop, Uriah Speed. {Kitten- 
ish business) 

ENTER Speck through gate from r., sees them, doubles 
up with laughter and tiptoes down to them. 

Uriah. I ain't a-doin' nothin'. {Looks at Mandy 
and grins) 

Speck {loudly). Here's your tea, Aunt Mandy! 
(Mandy grabs tea, looks daggers at Speck and EXIT 
hurriedly into house. EXIT hurriedly Uriah r.) Gee! 
Didn't they scoot! {Laughs heartily and picks up jar 
of jam from bench) 

ENTER Jim Nelson through gate l.; he is disguised as 
a detective. Speck, with her back to him, has her 
fingers in the jam and then licks them. She turns 
and both meet c, Speck, a little startled. 

Jim {politely, and with slight change of voice). Good 
day, young lady. 

Speck. Good day, sir. "Want to see Uncle Zebf 

Jim. Yes, if he is in. 

Speck {eyeing him suspiciously). I guess he's eatin' 
dinner. {Changes her demeanor to that of simple coun- 
try, girl) You be the new postmaster, bean't yer? 
{Licks her fingers) 

Jim. No — just looking over the territory a little. 



54 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

Speck {walking around and eyeing 'him)r Gee, but 
you look spruce. Thet coat must hev cost yer nigh onto 
five dollars, didn't it? 

Jim {laughing pleasantly). Oh. yes — five times that 
much. What's that you're eating? 

Speck. Ras 'berry jam Avhat aunty put up. Finest 
in the county. Like jam? 

Jim. Yes — I 'm very fond of it. 

Speck. Well, you jes' taste thet. 

Jim. You have no spoon. {Lauglis) 

Speck. Tastes better when yer lick it frum yer 
fingers. Jes' try it thet way. 

Jim. Odd way to eat jam. But just to please you. 
{Laughs) 

Speck {holds jar up and as he puts his -fingers in, she 
raises jar quickly^ smearing all his fingers, and laughs. 
Jim laughs and simply tastes it) Why don't yer lick it 
all? 

Jim. No — that's enough. {Takes out handkerchief) 

Speck. Don't use yer wiper. Stains won't cum out 
of it. Hold this, and I'll git yer somethin'. {Hands 
him jar, his fingers staining white paper wrapper. She 
jerks towel off line and hands it to him, ivhich he uses. 
As she takes jar, sees the stains, and unperceived by 
him, tears paper from it, expressing her satisfaction) 
Thet's mighty fine jam when yer git used to it. {Places 
jar on porch and paper behind her, while Jim turris and 
throws towel on the bench. Aside) Now to the bank 
with this. {To Jim) Say, yer heven't ketched that fel- 
ler what stole the bank's money, hev yer? {Eyes him) 

Jim. Not yet ; but I hope to soon. 

Speck. Aw, you ain't no good detective. Don't 
b'leeve he's in this town, do yer? 

Jim. I certainly do. 

Speck (going to him, and significantly). So do I! 

[EXIT L. through gate, Jim watching her 

Jim. What did she mean by that? She plays- the 
country girl well, but if she sees through my disguise, 
she's the first to do it. It was a big effort to shed my 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 55 

old life, become half-way respectable, and get on to the 
Boston detective force. But a few shady transactions 
in that sanctimonious city put me on easy street, and I 
did it. And I Ve got the papers here that will send that 
boy up for some years, and I'll serve them to-day, too. 
That's some revenge for the scar he gave me here for 
life {Indicating his neck), and retaliation against that 
old farmer for weaning that girl away from me. Here 
he comes now. 

ENTER Zeb from Jiouse. 

Zeb. How be yer, sir ? Who might yer wish to see ? 

Jim (lightly). Was passing, and just dropped in to 
see if I could get a little information. I am a detective. 

Zeb. You be thet Boston detective? 

Jim. The same. I am detailed to find out, if pos- 
sible, the party who robbed your local bank last month. 
Your son, I believe, is employed there. 

Zeb. Has been fer six months — an' there ain't 
nuthin' agin him neether. 

Jim. No — the president and officers speak highly of 
him. He was the last one, however, to leave the bank 
that night, and who placed the money in the safe and 
locked it. That might implicate him. But whoever 
captured that five thousand was a daring burglar, for 
the door was blown off its hinges. The house itself is 
not secure from entrance by expert thieves. 

Zeb. Yer know I told thet to the directors onc't, but 
they said there wa 'n 't no thieves in this county, an ' there 
ain't been no tramps along here since my son knocked 
the daylights out • o ' a couple of 'em right here six 
months ago. 

Jim. Indeed? What was the offense? 

Zeb. Got inter the house an' stole my pocketbook. 
It had two thousan' dollars in it, which I draw'd frum 
the bank thet day ter pay on my farm. But Sim, 
ketched him, an' done him up in fine style. He choked 
the darn cuss till his eyes run blood. 



56 Wiggins of Pop- Over Farm 

Jim (aside). Yes — damn him. {To Zeb) He was a 
brave lad. 

Zeb. Don't make no better roun' here. But the 
darn robber broke jail thet same nignt, an' skipped the 
county. 

Jim. An old hand at the business evidently. Would 
you or your son know him if you were to see him again 1 

Zeb. No — don't think he would. He was jest a plain 
every-day tramp. 

Jim {evinces satisfaction aside). You were in luck 
to recover your money. I must be moving. Excuse this 
intrusion. (Goes up) 

Zeb. Don't mention it. It's yer business. (EXIT 
Jim r., through gate) Durned perlite feller fer a de- 
tective. [EXIT L. 

ENTER Ben r., blowing clarionette; gets to gate, stops 
Mowing. 

Ben (loudly). Maw says kin you tell her 

(Sees no one on stage, blows and goes towards l.) 

ENTER Sim, Tom and Amy, l. Ben blows clarionette 
in their faces and EXIT l. 

Tom. Queer looking character that. 

S;m (laughing). That's our country clown. (All 
laugh as they come through gate) 

Tom. He looks it. Ah, how familiar the old farm 
seems. And there's the same old dairy. 

Amy. And the same old house. I remember it when 
a little girl. 

Tom. Not much change in things, Sim. 

Sim. No — it's the same old town, where the spirit of 
progress is always dozing. 

Amy. Should think you would die of ennui here. 

Sim. Well, it was dull at first, but I am used to it 
now. 

Tom (pointing l.). And there's the same old barn, 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 57 

where you and I, Sim, used to play in the hay. It takes 
us both back a few years, doesn't it? 

Amy. But how comforting to know your dear father 
and aunt are still alive and well, and enjoying the old 
home, and their boy with them again. 

Sim. Yes indeed. I am very content here with my 
people, and I owe much of it to my loyal friend here, 
whose aid and advice led me away from the breakers of 
the city. 

Amy. Oh, he's always doing something he ought to 
do. (Laughs) 

Tom {smiling). Well, the good was in you, Sim, and 
it had to come out. 

Sim. Thanks, old boy. But where are the folks'? 
{Looks in house) 

ENTER Zeb l. 

Zeb. Gosh ding them hogs. Si Pritchard's got ter 
pay fer them pertaters, or {Sees the others; sur- 
prised) Well, bless my soul! Tom Mason and Miss 
Amy. Howdy. Yer got here at last, didn't yer? 
{Shakes hands with Tom) 

Tom. Yes, I finallj^ kept my promise. I know I've 
been a long time fulfilling it. But business, you know. 
{Smiles) 

ENTER Speck through gate from l., seems surprised, 
and converses hack ivith Sim. 

Zeb. Well, I'm powerful glad ter see yer both. 
Howdy, Miss Amy? {About to shake hands with her, 
when Tom stops him) 

Tom. Mrs. Mason, if you please ! 

Zeb. Do tell? Yer haven't been an' done it? 

Tom. Yes — six. months ago. 

Zeb. Well, that'll take both hands. {Shakes both 
her hands) 

Amy. Yes — and I have got him beautifully tamed 
already. {The three laugh) 



58 Wiggins of Pop- Over Farm 

Zeb. Don't say? Yer done it quick, didn't yer? It 
took my wife nigh on ter six year to kick her initials on 
my disposition. 

Sim (going down ivith Speck). Say, Tom, you re- 
member this little girl, don't you? 

Tom {in surprise). Why, it's little Speck! {Shakes 
Jiands) Why, how in the world 

Speck. Did I come to be here ? Ask my good friend 
there. {Points to Zeb) 

Zeb. Jes' fetched her here — thet's all — away frum 
the temptations of yer big city. 

Speck. He's always doing good, sir. 

Tom. Well, I am indeed glad to know you have 
fallen into such excellent hands. 

Speck. I am very thankful, sir. 

Sim. And the next time you come down you'll have 
the pleasure of addressing her as Mrs. Simeon Wiggins. 
{Takes her in his arms) 

Speck {releasing herself). Don't. They're looking. 
Ain't you ashamed? 

Tom {laughing with the others). Has it got as far as 
that? 

Zeb. Been thet way ever since he cum home. Why, 
them two be so lovin ',. they f ergit when supper 's ready. 

Amy. Let me congratulate you both in advance. 

Speck. Oh, thank you. Miss. (Sim hows) 

ENTER quickly Mandy from house. 

Mandy {seeing others). Oh, the city company. 
{Primps herself) 

Sim {introducing). My aunt — Mr. and Mrs. Mason. 

Mandy {court esying awkwardly). Real glad fer to 
know yer. (Goes down. Speaks rapidly) Been ex- 
pectin' yer all day. S'pose yer hed a good trip. But 
the roads must hev been orful dusty, an ' them keers git 
so stiflin ' hot when the dust is flyin '^an ' 

Zeb. Jes' jack-knife yer remarks, Mandy. {To the 
others) When she gits to throwin' language, no man 
livin ' kin untie it. 



II 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 59 

Mandy. No sech thing, Zeb Wiggins. Yer don't 
even know how to converse with yerself, let alone 
coughin' down others what knows more'n you. [To 
Tom) YerVe got a mighty nice lookin' wife, Mr. Ma- 
son. Is she yourn? . (All surprised, exclaim ''What!" 
and laugh) Didn't say nuthin' wrong, did I, Zebediah? 

Zeb. Nuthin' but yer words. There be times, 
Mandy, when yer kin improve yer conversashun by 
keepin' yer tongue still. 

Mandy. Oh, yer don't say? Well, if my tongue 
couldn't 'spress better words then yourn, I'd go to ther 
dentist's an' git it pulled. Yer must discuse him. He 
allers did like ter show off afore company. 

Sim {laughing). One on you, dad. 

Zeb. Reckon it be. When Mandy kin give me away, 
she feels as good as a certified check. 

Speck. One on you. Aunt Mandy. (Laughs) 

Mandy. 'Tain't much. If he didn't open his mouth 
he wouldn't say nuthin'. (General laugh) 

Zeb. That's all right, Mandy. Now, s'posin' yer 
take Mrs. Mason in an' show her her room. 

Mandy. Fergot all 'bout thet. Mebbe she wants ter 
rest a mite afore supper too. Jes' cum this way. 

Amy. Thanks. (Crosses to Mandy) 

Zeb. Say, Mandy, made any fresh pop-overs? 

Mandy. Some's a-bakin' now. I'll give her a real 
fresh one an' a glass o' cider. 

[EXEUNT Mandy and Amy into house 

Zeb. Thet's right. Mandy kin jes' beat the hull 
county makin' pop-overs. Melt in yer mouth soon's 
they feel yer breath. 

Sim. Yes — Aunty's popi-overs are quite celebrated. 
And that's why the villagers call this Pop-Over Farm. 
(Sounds of the clarionette heard l.) 

ENTER Ben l. Stops at gate. 

Ben (loudly). Ma says kin you tell her is yer cat's 
new bunch o' kittens all girls? Haw! haw! haw! 

[EXIT, blowing, R. 



60 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

Zeb {takes off Ms slioe quickly, and is ahout to throw 
it at him, when BEi<i disappears. Alllaugh). The darn 
fool! If it wa'n't fer his parents I'd set thet boy on 
fire some day. 

Tom (laughs). He certainly is ^ simpleton. 

Zeb. Simpleton? {Puts on shoe) Why, he's so 
simple he don't know how ter turn over in bed. His pa 
has ter help him. But let 's go in an ' git a glass o ' cider. 

Sim. Good scheme, dad. {All about to cross to 
house) 

ENTER Jim through gate l. 

Jim. Beg pardon. Which of you is Simeon Wig- 
gins ? 

Sim {surprised) . I am he. 

Jim. Sorry to have to inform you that I have an 
order for your arrest. {Takes out paper. All aston- 
ished) 

Sim. My arrest? 

Zeb. See here — what do yer mean? 

Jim. He is accused of robbing the Booneboro Bank 
of five thousand dollars on the night of the fourth of 
September. 

Zeb. Say, yer want to be mighty keerful what you 
are sayin ', fer I 'd make it darned hot fer the man what 
says anything agin my boy's honor. 

Tom {exercised). And I'd give you the gun to do 
it. 

Jim. Gentlemen, I am an officer of the law, and am 
not here to parley. The evidence we have points di- 
rectly to your son as the culprit. 

Zeb. Evidence? What evidence? There ain't none. 

Jim. Oh, but there is. The door of the safe was 
blown open, and a small box of dynamite was subse- 
quently found in a far corner of a drawer in this young 
man's desk. 

Speck {facing Jim defiantly). Who placed it there? 

Zeb. Did you, Sim? {Positively) 

Sim. No, father — before Heaven T did not. 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 61 

Tom. And I believe you, Sim. It's a trick of some 
enemy. 

Speck. I'm sure it is! {Looks daggers at Jim, lulio 
does not notice her) 

Jim. May I ask, sir, if your son spends all his even- 
ings at home ? 

Zeb. He gen 'rally does, 'cept when he takes this 
leetle gal somewhere. 

Jim. It is known that on the night of the robbery he 
did not return home till after midnight, and the young 
lady was not with him. 

Zeb. Where was you, my boy? 

Sim. I cannot recall, father. Perhaps at one of the 
neighbor 's. 

Zeb {positively). Well, Speck allers went with yer 
when yer went a-visitin'. If yer stole thet money, 
where is it ? Be a man ! Spit it out right here ! 

Sim. What, father, do you believe 

Zeb. I don't b'leeve nuthin'. I want ter know. 

Speck. Why, don't you remember. Uncle Zeb, that 
was the night you sent him over to Roxbury to get some 
papers from Lawyer Thompson, and the sulky broke 
down on the road when he was returning? 

Jim. You seem to know a great deal about his move- 
ments, young woman — more than any one else. 

Zeb. Well, why shouldn't she, seein' as how they be 
engaged ? 

Jim. That's immaterial in the case. Moreover, a 
week after the robbery your son bought you a new three 
hundred dollar sulky. I suppose he remembers that? 

Sim. I do ; and it was from money honestly earned. 

Jim. That you must prove to the court. (Zeb falls 
in chair r., quite overcorne) 

Sim. Is it possible, father, you can believe this man's 
insinuations ? 

Zeb. I dunno. Yer'Ve got to prove he's a-lyin\ 
There never was a stain on this family 's honor afore, an ' 
yer got to remove this one, or yer no son o' mine. 
(Speck goes to Zeb) 



62 Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 

Jim {to Sim). Come, sir — I am waiting. {Takes out 
a pair of handcuffs) 

Sim {stepping up to him). And I am ready. 

Zeb. Han 'cuffs on my son! {Breaks into tears) 

Speck {while Jim is adjusting handcuffs on Sim). 
Look up, Uncle Zeb; don't cry. Sim never robbed that 
bank ! 

Zeb. He's got ter prove it, an' I don't b'leeve he kin. 
Things look blue now, my child, an' it may not be long 
afore I am in the street where I fust met you. 

Speck {kneels to him). And if you are, I will be by 
your side. You've been a good father to me, and Speck 
will never swerve in her loyalty to you. {Buries her 
head on his knee; he pats it) 

ENTER Mr. Thurston through gate from l., followed 
hy an Officer. 

Jim {to Sim). Come, sir. {They turn to go, and 
Thurston confronts them) 

Thurston. One moment. 

Jim. For what purpose? I cannot be interrupted in 
my duty. 

Zeb. Thet's the president of the bank. {He and 
Speck rise) What's he want? 

Thurston {handing paper to Jim). Eestraining or- 
der from the court. 

Jim {surprised). A restraining order? That's 
strange, {Unfolds paper) now that I have caught the 
criminal. 

Thurston. You are instructed to read it to your 
prisoner. 

Jim. This is unprecedented, sir. {Reads) "In 
view of new developments, Simeon Wiggins is hereby 
declared exempt from arrest in connection with the re- 
cent robbery of the Booneville Bank, as the real criminal 
has been traced, and will soon be in custody. J. P. Sut- 
liff, Judge." {Aside) The devil! {To Sim) Con- 
gratulate you, young man. It's a lucky escape for you 



I 



Wiggins of Pop-Over Farm 63 

just now. (To Thurston) I will see the jndge about 
this unwarranted interference. {Takes handcuffs off 
Sim) I wish you all good day. {Starts to go) 

Mandy and Amy ENTER from house, and stand sur- 
prised. 

Thurston {interposing). One moment, detective. 
Will you favor me with your name? 

Jim. Detectives keep their names to themselves, and 
also their business. 

Thurston. Rather masonic, I see. Young lady, {To 
Speck) you handed me this paper to-day at the bank. 
On it is the imprint of fingers, the exact duplicate, on 
comparison, of the finger marks left by the robber. Can 
you tell me whose these are? (Points to stains on paper 
— Jim shrinks) 

Speck, Yes, sir — that man's! {Points to Jim, Sen- 
sation) 

Jim {wildly). It's a lie! The girl knows nothing of 
me! 

Speck, But I know that voice now! 

Tom, Who is he. Speck? 

Speck. Whof Jim Nelson, the New York crook! 
(Jim, incensed, rushes for Speck, when he is caught and 
held hy Tom and Sim, and is being handcuffed hy the 
Officer, as CURTAIN DESCENDS. Thurston shakes 
hands with Zeb, Sim takes Speck in his arms, and 
Mandy holds up her hands in astonishment) 

Zeb {to Thurston). She's a sharp leetle gal, ain't 
she? 

PICTURE and curtain 

For second curtain. Speck, Zeb and Sim are in fore- 
ground. Speck in Zeb's arms, Mandy is at bottom of 
steps, still astonished. Amy over r. by Tom. Jim and 
Officer outside gate, Jim shaking fist at them all, and 
Thurston, with his back to audience, watching them. 
Ben enters, tooting, as curtain falls. 



COMEDIES AND DRAMAS 

BILLY'S BUNGALOW PRICE 25 CENTS 

Comedy in 3 acts, by E. M. Crane. 5 males, 4 females. 1 interior. 
Time, 2 hours. The amusing episodes of a house-party at Billy's Bungalow 
on Cedar Island. The situations are both serious and ludicrous with a 
dramatically effective climax. 



BRIDE AND GROOM PRICE 25 CENTS 

Farce in 3 acts, by Walter B. Hare. 5 male's, 5 females. 1 interior. 
Time, a full evening. A new play by this well-known author who has so 
many successes to his credit. Very Ijright, filled with comic surprises and 
free from any coarseness. Recommended for all occasions. 

BOBBLES PRICE 25 CENTS 

Comedy in 3 acts, by Jar.e Swenarton. 4 males, 3 females, 1 e::terioi . 
Time, 114 hours. A sparkling comedy recommended for scIjooIs. 

BUTTERNUT'S BRIDE; OR, SHE WOULD BE A 
WIDOW PRICE 25 CENTS 

Comedy in 3 acts, bj^ L. C. Tees .11 males, 6 females. 3 interiors. 
Time, 2J/< hours. The leading male characters "offer uncommon oppor- 
tunities for two comedians, while the remaining male parts yield barrels 
of fun. The female characters are all first-rate, but none of them difficult. 



COLLEGE CHUMS PRICE 25 CENTS 

Comedy in 3 acts, by A. E. Wills. 9 males, 3 females. 1 interior. 
Time, 2 hours. An ambitious young man is transformed through his col- 
lege surroundings into an athlete of vigor and spirit. Two opposing Civii 
War veterans and a German professor sustain the comedy parts. 

COUNT OF NO ACCOUNT PRICE 25 CENTS 

Comedy in 3 acts, by A. E. Wills. 9 males, 4 females. 1 interior, 1 
exterior. Time, 2}/^ hours. The action occurs at the "Lion Inn" in the 
Catskills, the proprietor of which has advertised a Count Nogoodio as so- 
journing at his hotel. Guests arrive, but no count, whereupon the land- 
lord induces a tramp to impersonate the count. The tramp creates end- 
less absurd situations and surprises. A French waitress has an excellent 
soubrette role. 

THE DEACON PRICE 25 CENTS 

Comedy drama in 5 acts, by H. C. Dale. 8 males, 6 females. Time, 2^ 
kours. A play of the Alvin Joslyn type, easily staged. Abounds in humor- 
ous incidents and ludicrous situations, and has much farcical business. 

DOCTOR BY COURTESY PRICE 25 CENTS 

Far»e in 3 acts, by Ullie Akerstrom. 6 males, 5 females. 2 interiors. 
Time, 2 hours. Doctor Sly's father-in-law adopts very strong methods to 
force Sly into practice, causing all manner of comical situations, which 
rapidly follow each other and all of which are finally unravelled. 

GIRL FROM PORTO RICO PRICE 25 CENTi 

Comedy in 3 acts, by J. LeBrandt. 5 males, 3 females. 1 interior. 
Time, 2i^ hours. Mr. Mite's fiery daughter, Dina, marries with a view of 
subjugating her husband and making his life a torture, but finds her mac. 
ter in Jack, who finally wins her love. 

HURRICANE WOOING PRICE 25 CENTS 

Comedy in 3 acts, by W. & J. Giles. 4 males, 3 females. 1_ interior. 
Time, 1 J^ hours. In order to inherit a fortune, Jack finds an immediate 
marriage necessary. His attempts to wed are most ludicrously given iii 
this sketch. Dialogue and action bright and snappy. 

JOHN BRAG PRICE 25 CENTS 

Farce in 4 acts, by G. V. May. S males, 5 females. 1 interior. 1 ex- 
terior. Time, 2^ hours. Brag, a sporty old fellow, to save himself from 
financial ruin pretends to be dead. T'm« leads to all kinds of complica 
tions. The characters are all good a;.( Jiere is nothing slow in the piece, 



PLAYS WE RECOMMEND 

Fifteen Cents Each (Postage, 1 Cent Extra) 

Unless Otherwise Mentioned 



Acts Males Females Time 



Arabian Niirhts 
Bundle of Matches (27c.) 
Crawford's Claim (27c.) 
Her Ladyship's Niece (27c.) 
Just for Fun (27c.) 

Men, Maids, Matchmakers 
Our Boys 
Puzzled Detective 
Three Hats 
Timothy Delano's 

Courtship 
Up-to-Date Anne 
White Shawl (27c.) 

Fleeing: Flyer 
From Punkin' Ridg-e 
Handy Solomon 
Hoosier School 
Kiss in the Dark 
Larry 
Love Birds' Matrimonial 

Agency 
Married Lovers 
Ma's New Boarders (27c.) 
Mrs. Forester's Crusade 
New Pastor 
Relations 

Standing: Room Only 
Stormy Night 
Surprises (27c.) 

Tangles (27c.) 

Little Rog'ue Next Door 
'Till Three P. M. 
Train to Mauro 
When Women Rule 
Won by a Kodak 
April Fools 
Fun in a Schoolroom 
Little Red Mare 
Manager's Trials 
Medica 

Mischievous Bob 
Cheerful Companion 
Dolly's Double 
Drifted Apart 
Gentle Touch 
John's Emmy 
Point of View 
Professor's Truant Glove 
Belles of Blackville 
Sweet Family (27c.) 

Conspirators (27c.) 

A Day and a Night (27c. ) 
Gertrude Mason, M.D. (27c.) 
In Other People's Shoes 
Maidens All Forlorn (27c.) 
Mary Ann 

Romance of Phyllis (27c.) 
Fuss vs. Feathers 
Tanglefoot vs. Peruna 
Great Libel Case 



Farce 


8 






2y4h 


Comedy 


2 






iy2h 


Drama 


8 






2^h 


Comedy 








iy2h 


" 








2h 


;; (27c.) 








2h 










2h 


Farce 








Ih 










2h 


Comedy 


2 






Ih 


" 


2 






Ih 


Farce 








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" 








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Drama 








ly^h 


Farce 








20m 


" 








30m 


" 








45m 


" 








46m 


<< 








80m 


Comedy 








45m 


Farce 








80m 


" 








80m 


Sketch 








80m 


Farce 








20m 


Comedy 








85m 


" 








40m 


Farce 




2 




30m 


" 




4 




80m 


" 




2 




40m 


" 




2 




20m 


" 




2 




15m 


" 




2 




15m 


Comedy 




2 




50m 


Farce 








80m 










40m 


„ 








85m 
45m 
85m 


Comedy 








40m 


Dialogue 








25m 
20m 
80m 


" 








80m 


:: 








20m 
20m 
20m 


Minstrel 






any no. 


2h 


Entertainment 








Ih 


Comedy 








40m 










Ih 


Farce 








80m 


Comedy 








50m 










ly^h 


«« 








80m 


" 








l%h 


Mock Trial 








80m 








18 


l^h 


« <« 




21 





2h 



VUVWV^tfVUW- 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

III 




I 



P L A Y S WE R E C OI- .?- 01_7 l^l 325 

For Schools and Colleges 

Twenty-five cents (Postage 2 cents extra) 

Acts Males Females Time 

Irish Eden 

Kidnapped Freshman 

Matrimonial Tiff 

Little Savage 

Lodgers Taken In 

Miss Mosher of Colorado 

Miss Neptune 

My Uncle from India 

Never Again 

New England Folks 

Next Door 

Oak Farm 

Riddles 

Rosebrook Farm 

Stubborn Motor Car 

Too Many Husbands 

When a Man's Single 

Where the Lane Turned 

After the Honeymoon 

Biscuits and Bills 

Chance at Midnight 

Conquest of Helen 

The Coward 

Sheriff of Tuckahoe 

Bashful Mr. Bobbs 

Whose Widow 

Alice's Blighted Profes- 
sion 

Regular Girls 

100% American 

Parlor Patriots 

Fads and Fancies 

Mr. Loring's Aunts 

My Son Arthur 

Sewing Circle Meets 

Every Senior 

Bride and Groom 

Last Chance 

Bubbles 

Hurricane Wooing 

Peggy's Predicament 

Found in a Closet 

Slacker (?) for the Cause 

Baby Scott 

Billy's Bungalow 

College Chums 

Delegates from Denver 

Football Romance 

Held for Postage 

In the Absence of Susan 

Transaction in Stocks 

Aunt Dinah's Quilting 
Party 

Bachelor Maids' Reunion 

In the Ferry House 

Rustic Minstrel Show 

Ye Village Skewl of Long 
Ago 

Rainbow Kimona 

Rosemary 

Pharaoh's Knob 



Comedy 


3 


8 


6 


2h 


Farce 


3 


12 


4 


2y4h 


Farce 


1 


2 


1 


Ih 


Comedy 


3 


4 


4 


2h 


" 


8 


6 


4 


2 Yah 


" 


4 


5 


3 


2h 


" 


2 


3 


8 


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" 


4 


13 


4 


2i^h 


Farce 


3 


7 


5 


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3 


8 


4 


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3 


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4 


2h 


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3 


7 


4 


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3 


3 


3 


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8 


6 


9 


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4 


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2 


8 


4 


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3 


4 


4 


2h 


" 


4 


7 


5 


2h 


Farce 


1 


2 


3 


50m 


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1 


3 


1 


ly^h 


Drama 


1 


2 


1 


25m 


Comedy 


1 


3 


2 


Ih 


Drama 


1 


5 


2 


30m 


V/estern Sk. 


1 


3 


1 


lb 


Comedy 


3 


4 


7 


2y2h 


** 


1 


5 


4 


50m 


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1 





8 


50m 


Entertainment 


1 





any no. 


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1 





15 


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1 





12 


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1 





17 


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13 


lyih 


" 


1 


2 


8 


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1 





10 


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1 





8 


40m 


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3 


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5 


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2 


2 


12 


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1 


1 


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20m 


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1 


20m 


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3 


5 


4 


2y4h 


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3 


5 


4 


2h 


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3 


9 


3 


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4 


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3 


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6 


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